


Conflicted

by Deansimpallagrl



Category: Supernatural
Genre: 69 (Sex Position), Anal Fingering, Anal Play, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Jared Padalecki, Cock Rings, Come Swallowing, Dom/sub, Flogging, Light BDSM, M/M, Massage, Orgasm Delay/Denial, Sex Swing, Shower Sex, Top Jensen Ackles, watching live porn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-12
Updated: 2019-09-12
Packaged: 2020-10-17 06:01:47
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 29,924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20616167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deansimpallagrl/pseuds/Deansimpallagrl
Summary: Jared loses a poker game and it's either get flogged or get broken bones.  He goes for the flogging and meets Jensen Ackles his friendly neighborhood flogger.  A relationship starts but no one is sure of where it will go or where it will end.





	1. Getting into hot water

**Author's Note:**

  * For [WinchestersShorty1980FL](https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinchestersShorty1980FL/gifts).

> A huge thank you to WinchestersShorty1980FL for the prompt and Jerzcaligrl for being beta on this!! This is one of my favorite stories I have ever written. I hope you enjoy it! This is my J2 spin on Upending Tad series by Kora Knight. If you enjoy this please look at her book series. I really enjoyed it.

Jared knew he was in deep trouble when he saw the large two story brownstone. Situated in a quiet neighborhood it looks like any other house. The brick was a dark and the shutters were dark probably black. Some lights were showing out of the windows, but nothing seemed to move in the house. What was inside was the scary part. Jared had never imagined how a person who flogs others would live. He is pretty sure it was not like this. He had seen the movie 8MM before and most of the BDSM shown was in dark, seedy places. That was his only reference and even then, he never saw a flogging, just got the impression it was something hidden and forbidden. He slides out of his sleek, black Charger and stares at the house like it might bite him. He jumps when he hears car doors slamming. He looks toward the large red pick up that the three card shark assholes are walking away from.

“Aww look at the little chicken. We can always go ahead with plan B.” An evil chuckle rumbles up from his chest and he hits a fist into his other hand with a smack.

Jared glowers at his tormentor. No way is he going to answer him. These three somehow turned the tables on him. The frat party was rolling along, but Jared was too busy enjoying cleaning up at the poker table to pay attention to the booze and girls. His friends had ditched him to get some ass. He was glad they left him alone at first so he could enjoy the game. After a while these three sat down at the table acting like they were trashed and didn’t even understand how to play. Jared was so excited to clean them out that he missed on the signals they were sending each other. By the time Jared was cleaned out he was in shock. They were grinning like they were now and then hit him with the choice. If he won one more hand, he can just leave the game if he loses then he has a choice. Jared shakes off the memory and heads to the front porch, ignoring the commentary from the peanut gallery.

His feet feel like they are walking in sand. His mind wants to get this over with but his body is on high alert. The stoop is lit up and the white door looks so innocent. Jared stares at it, willing his hand to raise and knock. 30 seconds go by and he can’t do it. He hears laughter and turns to see all three giving each other high fives.

“This little pussy can’t do it. I guess we get to inflict some pain after all.” Asshole number one in the blue swag hat and baggy blue basketball shorts grins at Jared.

The other two are too busy laughing to say anything. Jared frowns and flips them off. Turning back to the door he is raising his hand. There is no way he wants to go to the ER tonight. Those three promised a bone breaking beat down if he didn’t go through with the flogging. How those three know someone who is a local flogger is beyond Jared. Pull it together man, it’s better than broken anything. He hesitates for a moment before taking a big breath and knocks. He shuffles from foot to foot listening for someone in the house. Nothing happens and Jared is beginning to feel better. Maybe he isn’t home. When he starts to turn, the door swings open and a man appears in the doorway.

Jared stares with his mouth open. The man is dressed in tight blue jeans and an equally tight black shirt. It accents his muscles that are impressive but not huge. Jared looks him in the eyes and his knees feel wobbly. His eyes are a green that are hard to describe. It is jade colored but with beautiful emerald accents. They are sparkling and warm as Jared gets to the mouth that is made for sin. His lips are puffy and moist. His dirty blond hair is cut short but styled and the product in it is minimal. Jared doesn’t know what to do, his heart is jack-hammering in his chest.

“My name is Jensen. You’re the card player in need of my services?” His tone was teasing and gentle.

“Uh, Jared. I’m Jared.” He dips his head blushing. Way to sound like an idiot.

He hears more laughing from the assholes on the curb. Looking up Jared catches Jensen looking at them with a frown.  
“Come in Jared.” Jensen steps back from the doorway sweeping his hand towards the hallway.

Jared looks inside but he can’t make his feet go forward. How dumb does he have to be to agree to enter a stranger’s house? He might never see anyone he knows again. His friends don’t know where he is, and his family has no clue. As he thinks about it Jensen lifts up Jared’s chin with a gentle touch.

“What’s wrong?” Jensen’s face is relaxed, and his soft smile is reassuring.

“If I go in your house will I ever make it out?” Jared blurts it out and lowers his eyes.

“Hmm how can I convince you I’m not a serial killer? How about you take a picture of my address and send it to a trusted friend. You can tell them if you don’t check in tomorrow to send the police.” Jensen’s voice is soft and low, so the assholes don’t hear.

“Ok.” Jared pulls out his phone and takes a picture of the house numbers and texts it to his best friend Steven. He leaves a vague message that if he doesn't call by tomorrow afternoon that he needs to look for him. He knows his friend will check up on him, but he hopes it isn’t necessary. He puts away his phone and takes another deep breath.

Jared takes a few steps inside and looks around. The floors are a gleaming dark cherry wood. They are shined up and spotless. There is soft lighting showing the eggshell walls that are mostly bare of accents. A few rugs of a tan color are under the few pieces of black leather spread about in a living room. To his left is an arched doorway leading to a well lit kitchen. The crown molding is a dark mahogany wood that gives a rugged, but warm look to the rooms. The house is impressive and scary. 

“Welcome to my home Jared. Is this the first time you’ve been flogged?” Jensen walks toward a door at the end of the hallway. His bare feet padding along the wood floor. Jared is staring at the beautiful feet. The nails are expertly cut and buffed. Jensen stopped to open the door and Jared ran into his back with a bump.

Jensen chuckles and steps to the side opening the door to the basement. Jared is blushing and looking down the stairs into darkness. He has never feared the dark but the combination of a strange place and what they would be doing down there makes his feet seem glued to the floor.

“Jared you seem a bit skittish. I promise I won’t bite. Not at first anyway.” Jensen’s eyes sparkle and his smile is warm. His teeth are so white and perfect it is almost blinding. Jared is beginning to feel like the ugly girl at the ball.

“I don’t like unknown darkness. This whole situation creeps me out.” Jared doesn’t want to sound like a baby, but this is weird.

“I see.” Jensen flips on a light switch and the stairs are illuminated as well as a floor downstairs that is barely visible from the top.

Jared sighs and heads down the stairs listening to the soft footfalls behind him as Jensen’s bare feet whisper on the stairs. Jensen shuts the door and follows Jared. When he gets to the bottom, he sees a carpeted room that is huge. It is separated by a ¾ wall of concrete. The side they are on looks like any gym Jared had ever been in. Cardio machines, weight lifting benches, and all the weights anyone could use. A floor to ceiling mirror is on one side so you can see your form and maybe admire your work. Jared can only see a part of the other room but it is very different. He sees a few whips and a strange contraption hanging from the ceiling. Jared turns his head to the side mimicking a dog looking questioningly at something. His feet walk him toward the object as he hears a chuckle.

“Have you seen a sex swing before Jared?” His voice had switched from conversational to sultry. A little gravel in it and a faint Texas drawl. The sound made Jared shiver all over. That was a weird reaction to a voice. Jared turned to look at him.

“No, I have never been around anything like this before. I'm only here because I lost a bet. Not by choice.” Jared stands a little straighter, his 6’ 5” frame filling up the space and Jensen must look up to catch his eyes. Jensen is 6’ 2” Jared would guess. Jared tends to slouch, but when he is feeling uncertain he likes to show his height to make people back off.

“Message received. We’ll just get to it then?” Jensen grins and it almost looks predatory. Jared shivers again wishing he were on more sure footing. He didn’t like feeling like he wasn’t in control.

Jensen turns and walks them toward a closed door. When he opens it and turns on the lights Jared gasps. This room is twice as big as the one they are leaving. On one end it has a large glass window that almost looks like the ones in police stations. The dominating piece of the room is a huge floating wall object. The dark metal frame holding it up almost blends in with the dark leather surroundings. The wooden wall is split into slats that are about 2 feet high with a 6 inch gap between them and they are covered in rich leather. It looks around 8’ tall but it has hinges in the center and hanging from the corners are chains covered in a polymer that keeps them from being a hazard for grasping hands. There are loops at the end of the chains and the width of this monstrosity is only about 6 ‘wide. The room smells of old sweat and a tickle of lemon. Everything is spotless here as it is in the rest of the house. This guy is a clean freak just like Jared and that makes him more comfortable. 

“Jared, I need you to get undressed. You can fold your clothes and put them on the couch.” Jensen points at the couch then crosses his arms watching Jared’s face go through a few emotions.

“What?! Why?” Jared is alarmed now, and his heart is making his blood sound in his ears. 

“Well I think it’s better to keep your clothes from ripping sugar.” Jensen gives him a wink.

“If my clothes would rip what about my skin?” Jared is heading towards a full-blown panic attack here. He didn’t think about something powerful enough to shred his clothes touching his skin. He was breathing shallowly and starting to back up.

“Relax Jared. Clothes are easily ripped because of their movements. Unless they are skin tight they will be pulled and the fibers can shred. Your skin is very durable and if I didn’t know what I was doing that might be an issue. I know how to take good care of you.” Jensen smiles at him warmly, his eyes softening and trying to send out calming messages.  
Jared bumps into the closed door and lets out a little squawk of surprise. Jensen snickers and walks towards Jared. 

“Alright let’s start this again. Clothes off and chest against the wall.” Jesnen’s tone was of command and Jared naturally obeyed. He walked to the couch, his face red, but he was sure that this was the much better alternative to broken bones. He stripped off his shoes, jeans, shirt and socks. Folding them neatly he made a pile on the couch. 

“Everything cowboy.” Jensen’s voice was like a soft push. Jared gritted his teeth and mumbled curses as he slipped his boxers off. Not sure which way to face because he either gave buff guy his ass or his dick. He decided on sideways so nothing was really too visible. Once he set his boxers on the pile, he shuffled over towards the wall. Both hands on his junk and he walks right up to the wall. Looking it over he becomes concerned about what exactly this wall can do. 

Jensen grabs some leather cuffs that have latches on them like carabiners that climbers use. He walks to Jared’s back and runs a hand down his spine gently.

“Alright both hands behind you. I’m putting cuffs on that attach to the chains on the wall. They are easily released if needed. They are leather for comfort, but too small to wiggle out of sugar.” Jensen’s touch gives his skin mounds of goosebumps and when he puts his hands behind him, he has a little shivering fit. His skin was getting cold and a slight puff of air is blowing from somewhere nearby.

Jensen quickly buckles the cuffs on, and Jared finds them comfortable. Once they are on his wrists, Jensen pulls one wrist up and clips it to the chains. Once secured he takes the other arm and secures it as well. Jared pulls a little just to test them and gets the idea he is here until he is released. That brings on more panic.

“Look I know those guys put you up to this, but I don’t know if I can do this man.” Jared tries to twist his head around to look at Jensen, but he can’t and he is breathing too fast.

“Ok Jared calm down. I want you to breath in while counting to 4 in your head. Hold that breath for a 4 count then let it out for a 4 count. Do this until I tell you to stop. Trust me sugar.” Jensen squeezed his shoulder enough to give a positive touch but not enough to cause pain. Jensen’s heated skin on his shoulder made Jared’s brain derail just a little. He closed his eyes and breathed as Jensen instructed. He quickly found a focus and calmed down a little. His heart was still pounding but he wasn’t heading towards passing out anymore.

Jensen touches his calf and Jared feels leather being buckled on.  
“Wait, my feet too?” All his calm went out the window again.

“Yes sugar, this is for your protection. I am very precise in my strokes but if you move too much, I may miss my mark.” Jensen’s velvet voice is smooth and relaxing. He feels Jensen’s warmth on his back and hands are massaging his shoulders. Strong hands sliding over his skin making his muscles melt. Jared closes his eyes and almost moans. He had felt so tense since he has gotten to the house that this makes him almost feel good. The hands drift lower working all his back muscles with firm touches. Jared shivers harder when Jensen hits that little bundle of nerves at the base of his back just above his hips. Jared moans and his cock stirs. He tenses up immediately. It’s one thing to appreciate a back rub, but for his cock to pay attention is another matter. A guy had his hands on him and suddenly he is getting a boner? Jensen’s hands drift lower but bypass his ass thank god. He starts massaging his thighs and that feels even better. All his tension is flowing out of him. He closes his eyes and concentrates on the warm hands making him melt. In the back of his head he hopes that this will all be over quickly so he can forget this night ever happened.


	2. Raw

Jensen’s hands leave Jared and he hears the whispering steps. The slide of clothes on skin and Jared wonders if Jensen will get naked too. The thought of that makes Jared feel little tongues of fire in his belly. Turning his head slightly he can see Jensen’s hairless chest on display. Jared whips his head around to the wall wondering why the sight of a bare chest would make his pulse jump higher.

“I’m turning on some tunes for atmosphere. You need to remember to breathe big guy. Those chains are strong, but not enough for an unconscious moose.” Jensen’s feet are moving again, and a soft sound begins to fill the room. Jared pauses a moment trying to place the song. “For Whom the Bell Tolls ” by Metallica reaches his ears. The clanging bells are classic Metal. Jared cracks a smile. This is right up his alley. Not too old, but not modern rock. He was raised on 70's & 80’s Rock/Metal. As his head bobs to the music he hears a chuckle.

“Let’s get started. Remember to breathe. Get lost in the music if it helps.” Jensen is humming along with the music. As soon as the main baseline kicks in, Jared hears a snap and then something stings his back. It doesn’t feel like much, a little bug bite with an afterburn. He sighs, hoping that the rest is like this. Then, as the music picks up so do the stings. Jensen is striking on the beats of the song spreading out the lashes over his whole back working from left to right. Short strokes that don’t do much at first. As time goes on the heat is building on Jared’s back. Jensen takes small breaks of 20 seconds every few minutes. Jared breathes harder when it stops, but soon he is wincing and holding his breath.

“Remember to breathe big guy. We’re halfway there.” Jensen’s voice has gotten low and sultry again. It makes him shiver. How has this guy gotten under his skin?

Jared resumes the four count breathing, trying to focus on the song. He knows the song well, so he knows when they are getting close to the end. His back is beginning to burn constantly, and his arms are twitching. His breathing is shallow. He grunts with each strike and once it comes to an end a silence fills the room. He can hear Jensen breathing heavily. Jared wiggles his shoulders trying to get a feel for the level of pain in his back. It is constant heat and feels almost raw. He hopes they are almost done. He isn’t sure how much he can take.

“You ok Jared?” Jensen is right behind him, probably looking at his work from the grin in his voice.

“Yeah.” Jared’s heart rate is high, and a sheen of sweat had broken out on his skin.

“That was only part one Sugar .” Jensen gives Jared’s butt a little pat before walking back to his spot in the center of the room.

“What?! When will this be over?” Jared is getting a little worried about what shape he will be in when he finally gets out of here.

“Your buddy’s said to flog you until you came.” Jensen’s voice is pure honey.

Jared is getting pissed now. How dare those thugs demand a stranger do that to him. Broken bones sucked, but he would be in control at least.  
“Fuck that. You can’t come from flogging. Can you?” Jared is curious now. He has not felt much from this but discomfort so far.

“Oh, Sugar. Yes. Yes you can. Since you haven’t done this before it might not work, but sometimes it does. Besides, you know I have to report back to them what happened right? It’s part of the rules.” Jensen walks up beside Jared and looks in his eyes.

“This is fucking bullshit. I agreed to a flogging, but I didn’t agree to anything else.” Jared sees the compassion in Jensen’s eyes. It makes him less scared, but he also sees that Jensen will go through with this until the end.

“I will let you go anytime you want. I won’t lie to them though, and they did give you another way.” Jensen is watching Jared’s every emotion.

“No, I agreed to this, let’s keep going.” Jared is no quitter. He can get through it, but coming is something different. His cock is stirring a little. He can’t see how he will get from a little chub to an orgasm.

“Alright. Moving to your legs next. Similar rhythm, remember to breathe.” Jensen’s voice gets farther away and soon after another song pops on. This time the gong strikes at the beginning of “Wherever I May Roam” by Metallica. 

Jared smiles again. Metallica is his all time favorite band. Then the smile fades as he remembers the tempo, and just as his mind begins to panic the flogger strikes just below his butt. Sucking in a breath, he pulls his hips towards the soft leather and a little friction makes his cock start waking up. He groans as more strikes land, going from left leg to right leg, slowly heading down his legs. He can’t help jerking his hips against the leather because his body’s instinct is to move away from the strikes. He can’t move far but his growing erection is making it both heaven and hell. The heat from behind at odds with the cooler leather against his hard cock. His breathing becomes ragged. How on Earth can this make him horny? Maybe it’s just friction that his dumb dick likes. 

Jensen starts to hear the sounds and chuckles.  
“You startin' to like this Sugar ?” There’s smugness in his voice.

“What? Ugh…no!” Jared blushes a bright shade of red and focuses on breathing. If he can stop flinching maybe he can get his dick under control. The pain is building in his legs and the burning is taking some of the stiffness out of his dick.

The strikes begin to rise towards his butt again and the higher it goes the more Jared flinches. He is almost humping the leather now. He closes his eyes and tries images of rotting meat or gory death to keep his boner from getting out of control. He is saved by the first strike across his scrawny butt. He has beautiful globes of flesh, but they are small compared to his gangly frame. He screeches and turns to look at Jensen with a fury in his eyes.

“What the fuck man?!” Jared is shooting daggers from his eyes and he only gets madder as he sees Jensen laughing.

“You squealed dude, that was priceless.” Jensen is bent over and he can’t seem to stop his laughter.

“Fuck you. That’s a sensitive area.” Jared is pissed and turning red. Unfortunately, neither is having much effect on his hard cock. Staring at the wall, his brain is trying to work out just why this is bothering him. Guys get boners for no reason sometimes. It doesn’t mean anything. A fresh strike from the flogger makes Jared gasp and tense up.

“Calm down. No need to get freaked out. Just a little more and then we get to the good part.” Jensen’s voice sounds like he is trying to fight something in himself. He is a bit breathless, but his voice is gravelly and full of something Jared can’t place.

The flogger is hitting on both cheeks at the same time and the skin is delicate, so it gets hot quick. Jared is leaking a few tears just from the sensitive nature of his skin. He tries to breathe but it feels like a bit of sensation overload. He pants and squeezes his eyes shut, no longer paying attention to anything but the feel of the flogger hitting his skin.   
When the song ends, so does the flogger. Jared pants heavily, his forehead against the wall and his hard cock pressed between his stomach and the wall. He wonders what comes next. He was supposed to be flogged until he came. They were halfway there from the feel of his cock. He can’t imagine how they will get the rest of the way. He is startled out of his thoughts by a voice at his elbow.

“Sugar, how are you?” Jensen is watching his face closely, and as his eyes stray down, a quick intake of breath makes Jared’s eyes open and a blush form.

“Fine, just fine dude.” Jared is trying to turn his pelvis enough away so that Jensen doesn’t get a peep show.

“Mhmmm. I can see that. The next stretch is the good part. Relax and let me get you to the finish line.” Jensen’s eyes are sparkling with something hungry. Jared only glances at him long enough to see something raw in his eyes.

Jared takes some deep breaths and tries to focus again. The heartbeat in his cock though is very distracting. It demands friction, but he knows more pain is coming.  
“My Friend of Misery” by Metallica is the next song and the dark, low rumble of the music fills the room. It is a slow start and Jared sighs hoping that means less intensity. As soon as the vocals start he realizes his mistake.

Jensen uses double time on the flogger and starts with Jared’s back again, the skin still heated and raw. He wiggles and groans from the renewed heat. It feels like the nerves in his skin are being flayed raw. The sensation is all pain and Jared is almost dancing on his toes with his body’s need to get away.

“Jared, breathe, and hold on, it will get better.” Jensen’s strained voice is almost pleading. He wants Jared to listen, but he knows the struggle is all inside the man at the wall.  
Jared nods and tries to relax, but the sensations are never ending, and the panic is rising in his body. The music is almost distorted to his ears, he is feeling light headed. He takes a big breath and lets it out between hits. His focus is drifting from pain, to his heart rate, and then his cock that just won’t quit. He decides to focus on the pleasure. . He grinds himself in short strokes against the leather and moans to himself. The pain on his back is rising to a pitch he hasn’t felt before, so he grinds more.

All his focus is on the leather that is shooting pleasure sparks all along his shaft. He throws back his head, letting his mouth fall open and the level of sensations is at a peak. His back is agony, but he still is feeling ecstasy. Then the flogger goes back to his legs and he is pulled from the good feelings to the pain of re-scoring flesh that is still tender. He grunts and groans now, always moving, he can’t keep still. He is on fire all down his back and legs. He can’t do anything but ride the waves. His mind is cleared of all it’s daily clutter and worries. He is free and floating on a sea of pleasure and pain. He pants and wiggles, willing this to be over. He can’t seem to get enough friction to end this, but he hopes some miracle will happen to relieve him.

His skin is throbbing so much that it takes a moment to realize that Jensen has stopped. He hears soft feet approaching and hears the snick of a lid popping open. Jared’s eyes flash open and he turns. Jensen is pouring a lotion into his hands with a look of pride.

“Jared, you were a champ. For a first timer you did great. I am going to get your skin re-hydrated and let your breathing get back to normal.” Jensen’s uses light touches to rub in a cooling and very soothing lotion. It doesn’t sting so he figures it has a numbing agent of some kind. He sighs happily and relaxes against his chains. The only distraction is his throbbing cock. His balls too are demanding an end to this. He can’t help but grind against the leather when Jensen gets to his butt. It all feels good now, so he doesn’t hold himself back.

“We have to talk about your happy ending.” Jensen’s voice is low with heat and it makes tingles run up and down Jared’s spine.

“Oh, that. Can’t you just tell them it happened? I don’t think I can take any more.” Jared is nervous all over again. 

“I know your skin can’t. You are just on the edge of having small tears. I don’t want to do that to you. I can offer you a way around the rules.”

“What do I need to do?” Jared is very off balance, this sounds like something he might not like.

“I can get you off myself without more flogging. That way we tell those assholes that it’s taken care of.” Jensen said it casually, but his breathing is hurried. If Jared didn’t know better he would think there is need behind his words.

His mind lights up and he realizes something. This guy must be gay. That would make sense why he wasn’t shy about seeing Jared naked. That is a problem for Jared because he is not.

“Uh, I don’t know if I can do that. I’m straight.” Jared’s voice is shaking a bit and it almost breaks like a young boy.

“Mmmhmm. I figured that. Look, all I am saying is if I can get you off with my hands and other things then we can report to them that you came. I won’t say how.” Jensen steps up beside Jared and the heat in his eyes makes Jared shiver. 

Jared just stares at those deep pools of green. The black of his pupils is starting to edge out the green. His face is glowing and the sweat on his face makes him even more beautiful. Wait, where did that thought come from? Sure, the guy was good looking but he never thought of other guys like that. He focuses on the full, soft lips that are open and a tongue that is just there, almost peeking out.

He closes his eyes and tries to get his brain in gear.  
“You think too much Sugar .” Jensen’s voice is back to teasing.

“I’m aware. If this is a one-time thing... I’m not gay, not that I have anything against gay people.” Jared is babbling with his eyes closed and he feels breath on his ear before he hears the voice.

“I’m going to help you with no strings attached. Just a way to get this done. I promise to be gentle.” Jensen’s low gravel goes straight to Jared's cock. It jumps and makes Jared groan. 

Jensen walks away and Jared hears water running. The footsteps are coming back and Jared shivers. A cloth rubs against his nose. He opens his eyes to darkness.  
“This will help you concentrate on sensations and not who is giving them to you.” Jensen ties it behind his head and adjusts it for comfort. Then walking away again, Jared hears more clothes being removed. He is beginning to panic again. Can he really let a guy touch him like that? He hears a drawer opening and closing, curious he turns his head as if he could still see.

“Just getting some tools. Now I want you to relax. I need to move this wall.” Jensen is back in 'calming voice' mode.   
Jared nods and then gasps when motors hum to life and he feels like he is bending forward. The wall goes to a little beyond 90 degrees. Jared feels like he might be falling a little, but the fact that his hips are stationary against the vertical part of the wall makes him feel comfortable. He is nervous but his cock is on board with this plan all the way. He makes more little grinding motions, but stops when he hears another bottle opening.

“Ok Sugar, hold on. This is going to be fun.” Jensen’s whispered promise is what makes Jared moan. He doesn’t know why he responds to this man, but he does. His eyes in darkness, he holds on and waits for more


	3. Denial

The room has gone quiet, but Jared’s pulse is thundering in his ears. Music finally kicks in and as if the universe was laughing at him “Nothing Else Matters” by Metallica begins. The slow guitar strings being plucked rolls over him and he sighs. This song has been important to him for a while. Jared has had a hard time trusting people. His parents love him and dote on him, but the kids at school were cruel. He was too tall and awkward. He was too smart and so he was called names. He didn’t have many friends growing up and once he moved out of his home town of Kyle, TX he never looked back. This song came out when he was at a tough time in his life. He yearned for someone to understand him. He felt like an outsider. The life James Hetfield sang about in this song always felt beyond his reach. The song did however give him hope. Someday he would find this for himself. 

Jared was so focused on the music that he didn’t notice warm hands touching his butt cheeks. They massaged and carefully pushed them apart. Jared tensed up and gasped when a thumb brushed over his hole in a light massage. His cock jumped hard against the leather and he pushed back automatically, his body asking for more. 

A growl rumbles low in Jensen’s throat as he watches Jared’s body move. His other thumb brushes the same place, but with a little more force. The long, low moan out of Jared makes Jensen grunt. He rubs his fingers in circles kneading his muscles but brushing the delicate star that quivers. After a few minutes Jared is lost in a world of sensations. The soft strokes feeling amazing against his skin. He never had anyone touch him there before. He is starting to enjoy this despite his mind beginning to doubt this course of action. He isn’t a homophobe at all, he could care less about everyone else’s love lives. He just never imagined it would feel good.

The hands leave his butt for a moment and Jared whimpers. He wants that warm touch back. Before he can complain a hand is touching his balls.  
“Mmmm. I like a clean shaven man.” Jensen’s voice sounds like he is squatting below Jared. He seems to be looking at Jared’s package. Jared just hates to deal with anything messy. That includes pubic hair. He has always enjoyed the feel of his shaved balls.

Warm air from Jensen’s breath glides over his balls as the hand that was gently stroking them moves to the base of his cock. It glides along his shaft as if testing its weight. A finger glides around the head and Jensen moans as his finger comes away slick with pre come. 

“Oh my Sugar, you’re very eager.” Jensen’s voice sounds thick and low.

Suddenly a piece of leather wraps around his balls and shaft. It is tightened and then secured.  
“What the fuck?” Jared’s pulse is rising. Panic is coming back again.

“Just a way to be sure you come when I say so.” Jensen moans as Jared’s cock jumps at his words.

The next thing Jared feels is a warm wetness over the head of his cock. He groans and shivers. He’s never had anyone do that to him. No girl he has ever dated was that intimate. He only slept with a handful of girls in his lifetime. He figured he was looking for the right person and was happy pursuing college and a career. 

A thumb brushes over his hole again and he wiggles, pushing his cock deeper into Jensen’s mouth. Gasping, his cock jumps inside that warm wetness. He is torn between shoving back on the thumb or pushing his cock deeper. Both sensations make his skin flush and his muscles quiver. Jensen groans around his cock and it sends vibrations up his shaft. Jared moans again, loving everything happening to him. He is floating along on a warm current of pleasure. His balls are aching, but the leather strap holds back his orgasm. Jensen sucks him up and down slowly with strong suction for a few strokes, then that warm wetness is gone. As air blows over his wet skin he shivers again. A fire is growing in his belly. He has never felt this kind of buildup before. He is straining to hear Jensen’s movements. 

Suddenly the snick of a cap is like a gunshot and Jared jumps. The feel of his heavy cock bouncing is sweet torture. A cool liquid is poured on his hole and he moans as two thumbs are rubbing it in on that ring of muscle. Those thumbs are pushing a little harder on each swipe and the feel of being opened even a little is electrifying to his virgin ass . He wiggles as the thumbs begin to dip inside just a little. He groans and up on his tiptoes, Jared rocks back trying to get them deeper. His body is on autopilot, and he is amazed how natural this feels. He moans again as the thumbs are gone, but something warmer and wetter takes their place. 

“Fff fuck.” Jared shivers and his cock gets fuller and heavier. Bouncing to the beat of his heart.

“You taste so fucking good Sugar.” Jensen licks his lips and flicks his tongue over the sensitive skin. He licks slowly and flicks across Jared’s hot hole.   
Jensen dips his tongue in just a little and uses it like a finger hooking into the tender silkiness and pulling away. 

“Hollly Ffuck.” Jared can’t stop the trembles in his legs. He is glad the wall is there, or he would have collapsed already. The jolts of electricity shooting up his shaft make his cock drool a long string of pre come towards the floor. Jared can feel it dangling and he wants Jensen to lick it up. Where did that come from?

Jensen slowly works his tongue inside, exploring the silky entrance to Jared’s tight hole. He goes as deep as he can, feeling the muscle begin to loosen just a little.   
Jared’s head is spinning. He woke up this morning not a care in the world. He looked forward to a party and a good time with friends. He ends up in some guys basement building up the mother of all orgasms.

Jensen puts his mouth around Jared’s hole and a little suction brings more curses from Jared and moans from Jensen.   
Jensen moves a hand back to Jared’s cock and strokes him slowly, rubbing in all the pre-come . Both sensations make Jared gasp, his mouth hanging open. Suddenly all touching stops and he can hear Jensen get up and pad away from Jared.

“Hey, don’t leave me here!” Jared can’t see or get away. Is this a joke?

“Don’t worry. I just needed to grab something else.” Jensen is breathless and that makes something stir in Jared. It sounds like Jensen wants him and might be in a similar state of need. This thought lights Jared’s skin on fire in a different way. His brain loves the thought of someone needing him.

The sound of clothes being removed is unmistakable. Jared shivers and wonders if he might be getting fucked here. Shouldn’t that make him nervous? He was getting blown and touched in places he never thought would get touched. Can his pride take the thought of being fucked by a man? His overheated cock was okay with this plan. His dick was in charge and well, he was chained up.

Jared could feel the warmth of Jensen’s body before he felt his touch. Hands rub over his ass again and a warm weight is pressed up against his hip. Jensen’s cock, from the feel of it, is hefty and thick. Jared moans and wiggles against it getting a groan in return.

“I’m going to move you to a different position. When the wall is fully vertical I will unchain you, understand?” His sexy voice is soothing and Jared nods.

The quiet motors of the wall purr along and Jared feels his body rising. He sighs when the blood rushes out of his head and he feels a little dizzy.

Hands reach up and unlatch one wrist and bring it down, rubbing the arm muscles to get circulation flowing. Jensen undoes the other wrist and both feet, always rubbing the muscles to make sure they are getting blood flow. Once fully undone Jensen gently turns him around and settles his back against the wall. The blindfold is keeping Jared from panicking too much. He has things happening to him, but his mind can conjure up anyone that can be doing that to him. He doesn’t have to look into Jensen’s eyes. For some reason Jared’s brain tells him that being face to face is too intimate. It would be like admitting he is gay. That can’t be right. He is just reacting to a weird situation. All these thoughts fly by as Jensen re-connects Jared’s arms to the wall. A cool breeze blows across his chest and dries up the sweat. It makes his nipples hard and he shivers.

“Don’t worry Sugar I won’t let you get cold.” Jensen’s voice is like velvet and it puts Jared at ease again.

Once his arms are reconnected Jensen turns on the motors again and Jared is lifted backward only a few degrees. Just enough to make him off balance. His legs are free, but Jared is not sure why.

Jensen’s hands trail fire down his chest to his hips, rubbing his muscles as he goes.  
“You’re stunning Jared.” Jensen whispers with reverence.

Jared doesn’t know what to say so he freezes and tightens up. 

Jensen’s fingers massage Jared’s balls, so full and heavy. More curses roll off Jared’s lips. Jensen kneels before Jared and slides Jared’s thighs over his shoulders. Jensen’s breath blows on his taint as his tongue reaches out and licks the super sensitive zone. Gasping, Jared widens his legs wanting more. Jensen chuckles and nips at the skin trailing licks until he gets to Jared’s hole. He pulls Jared’s cheeks apart, licking and sucking, pushing Jared open little by little. 

Jared is throwing his head back and forth. He can’t stop moaning. The farther Jensen gets in the more his cock jumps against his stomach. Everything is making Jared’s cock ache. Jared is so hard he fears it will pop. He needs friction but doesn’t want to ask for it. 

Jensen reaches down and the familiar snick of the lube bottle sounds. A cool thumb is rubbing it on his hole.  
“Bear down on my thumb and let me in.” Jensen’s order is instantly obeyed. Jared doesn’t know why, but he does without question.

Jensen’s thumb slides in with little problem and it burns a little. Not for long and then the thumb inside him is heavenly. It pushes in and slides around filling him up and making him moan. Jensen is moaning along with Jared. 

“You are tight Sugar and so hot.” Jensen pushes further in and wiggles around. He pushes in and slides out a little. Jared can’t believe how wonderful that feels. It should be an invasion but it’s not. He pushes down against the thumb wanting more. Jensen chuckles and lubes up another finger. He pulls out the thumb just long enough to wiggle a finger inside. His long finger goes farther and wiggles around as if searching.

“Hhholy FUCK!!” Jared bucks hard when Jensen’s finger rubs over a little nub he never knew existed.

“Ahh there it is.” Jensen brushes over it again and Jared’s whole body wiggles. It is so overwhelming he almost doesn’t notice the second finger that has joined the first. He is moaning and shivering with every pass over his G spot. His cock is hard and pulsing, he is sure if he didn’t have the strap on he would have blown his load already. His balls ache so badly, and he isn’t sure if he should ask to come yet.

Jensen uses the fingers to scissor him open further and further. After a few minutes Jensen pulls the fingers out and Jared whimpers at the emptiness. He is panting and needing to come so badly. He hears a tearing sound. A condom for sure. Holy shit is he about to have a cock inside him?

Jensen rolls on the condom and lubes it up.   
“Ok I need you to bear down when my cock starts to enter. I will go slow I promise.” Jensen’s voice is so rough. 

A huge warm intrusion rubs against Jared’s slick hole. He tightens up and then remembers he should bear down. The moment the huge cock head slips inside Jared is panicking. It is so huge, and the burn is like fire. He hisses and groans. Jensen’s lubed hands go to work on Jared’s cock, slicking it up and trying to switch his minds gears to pleasure. 

Moaning, Jared bucks up into Jensen’s hand. His ass is adjusting, and the burn is fading when Jensen pushes in a little farther and hits that special spot.

“Fuuuck…” Jared is so full and it feels so fucking good. His cock is so hard and his balls so heavy. He needs to be fucked and his orgasm is building. His stomach muscles are tight as the burn builds there. The beginnings of a need to come. Jensen begins a slow push until he is balls deep and he never stops jacking Jared’s cock. The sounds of lube going up and down his shaft makes Jared moan. That wet sound is such a fucking turn on he never knew he had. All the stimulation of a huge cock in his ass and a hand on his cock is shooting him like a rocket for the finish line. Jensen is going slowly to not hurt Jared, but his own orgasm is building.

“Ok Sugar, I am going to go a little faster.” Jensen’s voice is ragged but steady. 

Jensen snaps his hips forward and then pulls back just a little and holding on to Jared’s hips to slam himself deep again. The short strokes are making his G spot sing. Jared can only pant and whisper curses. His cock is so sensitive, and he can feel the tingles of his orgasm pulling up his balls and he thinks strap or no he is coming soon. His legs tighten up on Jensen’s shoulders.

“I’m gonna come.” Jared feels it coming and from the fumbling of fingers on the strap Jensen knows too and is releasing him. As soon as the strap is free and Jensen slams home Jared screams. His cock is rocketing strings of hot come all over them both. It seems like it will never end. He can’t stop screaming and his muscles are locked. His balls are emptying everywhere. As he starts to come down, his legs relaxing, he feels a jerking coming inside him. Jensen is grunting and shivering as he unloads inside of his condom. Jared shivers too as he feels Jensen’s cock going through its aftershocks. 

That was hands down the best orgasm he has ever had. He almost saw stars.


	4. Awkward

Jared’s whole body feels as if it is wrapped in sunshine. He is warm and sweaty. He has never felt like this before.   
“Wow that was intense.” Jared speaks softly almost to himself. His brain is trying hard to grasp reality after being shattered into a million pieces.

Jensen chuckles and slips Jared’s legs off his shoulders gently setting them on the floor. Once he is sure Jared is standing, he switches on the wall and it comes to full vertical again.

“Do you want to get your sea legs first or get off the wall?” Jensen is watching Jared to make sure he looks steady.

“Uh, get me down please.” Jared’s face turns red again as he is undone and he lets Jensen rub his arms to get the circulation going again. Strong hands guide him by the shoulders.

“Why don’t you sit down for a few minutes Sugar. Then you can get dressed.” Jensen sits him down on a towel on the couch and removes the blindfold.

Jared blinks at the lights and can’t see for a moment. He hears clothes being slid on and reaches for his briefs not wanting to be naked in front of Jensen anymore. That seems like a silly thing now, but he is unsure of what comes next. A door opens and closes, and he looks up seeing the room empty. He stands and puts his clothes on slowly. His balance is off, and he doesn’t want to look like an idiot. The door opens again, and Jensen brings him a cold water bottle.

“Drink up to replace the water you lost.” Jensen’s smile is sweet, and he looks a little unsure of himself.

“Thanks.” Jared blushes again and sits down, not trusting his legs fully.

Jared drinks and thinks about what this night means to him. Is one night of sex with a guy enough to make him gay? Why does that matter at all? His mind is drifting on a million questions when he feels a hand on his shoulder.

“Hey Jared, you ok?” Jensen’s face is close to his and he is frowning.

“What? I just got lost in my head.” Jared tries to plaster on a reassuring smile, but it doesn’t look right.

“Mhmmm. Do you think you are ok to walk now?” Jensen seems to be appeased for the moment as he steps back and has another drink.

“Yes, sorry I need to get home. I have to get up early for my job.” Jared stands up and takes a few steps before feeling sure of himself. He looks around to make sure he hasn’t forgotten anything. One look at that wall and he shivers. That was one hell of a ride.

“Ok, but could I ask you a favor?” Jensen rubs the back of his neck and looks sheepish.

“Sure.” Jared is uneasy

“I am a certified athletic trainer with the Cowboys. I am making instructional videos to help some players learn how to take care of themselves after injuries. Would you be willing to come over and help me?” 

“Wow, the Cowboys? They’re my favorite team!” Jared’s whole face lights up. Maybe he should help.

“Mine too. I grew up in Plano and it has been my dream to work for the Cowboys.” Jensen’s smile is almost blinding. He lights up when he smiles with real joy. Jared is lost in that smile for a moment.

“Wow! I grew up in Kyle by Austin. I didn’t realize we were both from Texas.” Jared is filling up with excitement. This was all too good to be true.

“Cool. I hope you’ll come back then and work with me. Wait I have a gift. Hang on.” Jensen goes into another room right next to the one they were in. He comes out with a flash drive and his card. 

“Here’s my card so you can contact me. This is all for you Sugar.” Jensen smiles again, but this one is mischievous.

“What's on this?” Jared’s stomach drops.

“It’s our time together. The room behind the glass was an observation room. My roommate uses it sometimes and I wanted to make sure you remembered me.” Jensen pats Jared’s cheek softly, almost caressing it as Jared’s face heats up.

“No thanks, I don’t need this.” Jared holds it out but doesn’t look Jensen in the eye.

“Keep it. You might be glad you did.” Jensen reaches out and closes Jared’s fingers over the drive. His warm touch is soothing and unnerving at the same time. 

Jared just nods and walks towards the stairs putting the drive and card in his pocket. He needs to get out of here. This place is fucking with his head. He is a straight guy who lost at poker and got into this mess. He needs to leave this house and Jensen far behind. They walk upstairs in silence and Jensen opens the door for Jared.

“Take care of yourself Sugar.” Jensen’s voice is almost sad. 

“Yeah, sure, you too.” Jared doesn’t look back, he just walks toward his car. He doesn’t know what he is doing anymore. He needs to get away from this and put it behind him. Cowboys or no he doesn’t need to come back here ever again.

Jared unlocks the car and slips inside. He looks back one more time to the house, but Jensen is already back inside. The porch light is off, and Jared can hardly believe this happened.

Jensen walks back inside and shuts the door. He rests his forehead against the door and closes his eyes. What the fuck just happened? Did he just fuck a stranger? A straight stranger? Hadn’t he just gotten his life back under control? 

Walking down to the basement, he needs to clean up. It might clear his head and keep his roommate happy. JD always wanted his equipment cleaned and ready after Jensen uses it. He doesn’t know what he will tell him about this little escapade. Maybe he won’t say anything. JD is out for the night clubbing and looking for fresh meat. He is the Dom in the house. Jensen learned a few things and helps occasionally. This was the reason he took the call tonight from the card shark guys. It turned out to be a good thing, but he isn’t sure what this will turn into. He has stumbled down this road before, but he is stronger now. He won’t make the same mistakes, will he?

Shaking himself out of the past he digs out the cleaning wipes and leather polisher from the cabinet under the sink. Walking back into that room Jensen groans as he is hit with the smell of their sex. It was enough to make his cock stir. He doesn’t remember being turned on just by the smell before. 

He takes his time cleaning all the surfaces including the cuffs. Putting everything away he turns out the lights and heads for his bed. It is almost three am but he can’t sleep. His mind is recalling all the details of the session with Jared. He was tall and muscular with shoulder length brown hair. His hazel green eyes were beautiful, and his tanned skin was glowing. 

He was blushing and shy which went straight to Jensen’s heart. Jensen was that shy kid before he learned how to put his fears aside and go for what he wanted. He knew from a young age he wanted to be in sports. He had a small career in football in High School but he wasn’t anything special. When he was injured in his senior year he ended up being sent to an athletic trainer to get him back in the game. He was so impressed with the knowledge of the trainer that he asked questions and eventually decided that was what he really wanted to do. Help players and play an important role behind the scenes in football. It took some time, but he ended up graduating a few years ago and with his parents connections he eventually interned, then got hired on with the Cowboys. 

He had to be in the closet at least for work because it is a very touchy subject in the NFL. Everyone else in his life knows. He knows keeping a secret can be tough, but honesty is always the best policy. If he was asked, he would admit it at work, but for now he can’t just volunteer the information. He wonders if Jared is even aware that he is gay. The kid really acted like he didn’t have much sex at all before tonight. It isn’t his job to drag others out of the closet, but he will do his best to encourage Jared to see the truth. Jensen drifts off to sleep and dreams of Jared.

The next day, Jared is busy at the Sunrise Vet Clinic. He’s in school for Veterinary Technology. He works there to get experience and keep himself in school. His parents are doing okay money wise, but he works so he can help pay his tuition. He likes to do things for himself and college is no different. He loves animals with a deep passion he has had since childhood. 

He was always bringing home stray animals. His parents couldn’t say no, but they always insisted he turn the animals over to local shelters. It was a way to show him how best to help the animals.

They adopted a dog on his 10th birthday. It was a golden lab and they named him Sam. Jared went along to all the Vet appointments. He wanted to know what the dog needed and how best to take care of Sam. He asked lots of questions and one of the Vet Techs there teased him he should do her job since he loved dogs so much. He latched onto that idea and made it his goal ever since.

Jared can’t help but puzzle over last night when he has a few moments to himself. He can’t figure out why he allowed it to happen. Sure, he was naked with a boner but that is no reason to let a guy fuck you. Jensen wasn’t forceful about it. Jared is sure he would have let him leave if he had insisted. The alternative was those thugs would have broken his bones and that is not a small thing. He would be out of work for a while and possibly not able to finish school depending on the medical bills. He wants to have a logical excuse. If he doesn’t, all he has left is something he doesn’t want to think about. 

Jared is on his way home when his phone rings. Putting in his ear buds he answers.  
“Hey bro. What’s up?” Stephen’s happy go lucky voice is a welcome distraction.

“Hey Steve. Just going home from work.” Jared’s friend since grade school makes him smile.

“Cool, so what was with that text last night? Did you hook up?” Stephen is digging for information Jared doesn’t want to give out.

“No man I just went to a shady poker game. I wanted someone to know where I was.” Jared’s face is red as he remembers what he was doing.

“Right on man. You’re going to the gym tomorrow with us to work out, right bro?” Stephen isn’t even paying attention. Jared can hear his girlfriend Cassandra talking to him in the background.

“I don’t know man. I got asked to do something for a new friend. Let me call you back tomorrow and let you know.” Jared is glad Stephen isn’t paying too much attention. He doesn’t want to have to answer pointed questions.

“No way bro! You can’t duck out on us.” Stephen sounds disappointed. 

“Let me think about it. I’m home so I gotta go. Talk to you tomorrow.” Jared hangs up before any other questions can be asked. He loves the tradition he and his friends have of working out together. He just can’t get Jensen off the brain. He has been working on a theory that if he goes to see him of his own free will and doesn’t have a reaction, then he isn’t gay. If he can hang out and be friendly, but not pop a boner then it was just weird circumstances. He has to know why his brain won’t shut off about this guy. Once Jared decides to go through with it, he feels a little calmer and decides to shoot Jensen a text.

“Hey, this is Jared from last night. Can I come over to do that video tomorrow night? It's a night off from school for me.” Jared sends it off as he sits down to dinner. He's hoping he will hear back soon. 

He eats and watches some TV, relaxing a little. His eyes begin to droop in exhaustion when his phone chimes. He reaches for it and in a daze looks at it. He sits up straight, a blush creeping up his cheeks.

“Hey Sugar, I would love that. I get back from work around 7pm. Bring workout clothes and water. See you then.” He can hear the text in Jensen’s voice. He fires back a quick affirmation text on the time and his heart rate is through the roof. He was almost relaxed and asleep, now his mind is imagining what will happen. He is only going over there to prove to himself Jensen isn’t turning him on. He will get a workout and nothing more.

In bed that night staring at the ceiling Jared wonders why does it matter so much if he is gay? He slips off to sleep to that thought he doesn’t have an answer for.


	5. Swinging

Jared wakes up later than usual on his day off and begins with a shower and breakfast. He is feeling pretty good and happy until his phone chimes. He looks at it and a new text has come in from Jensen. He feels a tingling along his spine as he reads it.

“I hope you’re ready for tonight. I’ll be wrapping up your knee. Do you have any latex allergies? Let me know when you have time. See ya.”  
Jared had almost forgotten about going there for the video. He had pushed it out of his mind. Now he is nervous. 

“No allergies. See you tonight.” 

Jared hopes that doesn’t sound rude. He is just not sure what kind of relationship they have. Do friends fuck and then just go on like everything is normal? He is more than a stranger now. Jared sighs and decides to go out for a jog. He needs some exercise to clear his mind. 

After several errands and some studying Jared looks at the clock and it’s 6:45pm. He needs to gather his things and hurry. He hates being late. Stuffing his bag with clothes and a towel, he hurries out the door. Arriving at Jensen’s he hesitates like he did the first time as he stares at the house. This time he is here because he wants to be. It still feels scary.

Knocking isn’t as hard this time but the person answering the door is a surprise.

“Hey kid, you must be Jared. My name is JD Morgan. I’m the roommate/Dom in this house.” His smile is lopsided and inviting. His eyes of brown however are boring into Jared as if he is trying to see his soul. His short brown hair is in a crew cut and he looks older than Jensen by a few years. He gives off a 'don’t fuck with me' vibe even when smiling. Jared is glad he didn’t get him the other night.

“Yes, Hi I’m here to see Jensen. Nice to meet you.” Jared holds out his hand and JD looks at it a moment before shaking it. His grip is firm and almost painful.  
Jensen walks up behind JD and sees Jared.

“Hey Jared. Glad you could make it. Come on in.” Jensen pats JD on the shoulder as if that is a signal to leave. JD looks at Jensen for a moment with a frown, then walks away shaking his head.

Jared wonders what that was about but steps inside. The house is more lit up tonight and looks much more inviting than before. He smells spaghetti sauce cooking in the kitchen and his stomach growls. He blushes as Jensen chuckles.

“You hungry? If you wait a little bit, we can come back after the workout to get some. JD is an amazing cook. One of his many qualities.” Jensen’s sweet smile is back and sends a little tingle up Jared’s spine again.

“Yeah that would be great. I hope you guys don’t mind.” Jared blushes, not sure where to look. Every time he has looked at Jensen, he feels a fluttering like wings in his stomach.

“Don’t worry about it. I love company.” Jensen winks at Jared and leads the way to the basement.

Jared can’t help looking into the room next to the gym. The hanging contraption is still making him wonder what it is for. It is all leather straps that are woven together. It almost looks like a cargo net. It is so large that Jared wonders what it can hold. There is a long, black board at the center covered in leather. It is anchored in the ceiling by four hooks meant to hold some serious weight. Jared had seen those kinds of hooks on the pot and pan hanging contraption in his mother’s giant kitchen.  
Jensen follows Jared’s eyes and chuckles.

“You like our swing?” Jensen’s voice is teasing, but with a little thread of heat below it.

“That’s a swing?” Jared can’t picture how someone would get into that thing. It can’t be comfortable. Why would you have one inside a house?

“Don’t worry maybe I can show you how it works sometime.” Jensen has gotten close enough to whisper in Jared’s ear. The puff of breath on his ear must be the reason he shivered, right?

“Let’s get you changed, and we can start. Through that door is a bathroom with shower. Change and head back out. I’ll adjust the camera equipment while you’re busy.” Jensen gives him a quick pat on the butt as he walks by. Jared jumps and almost squeals. He blushes harder and takes his bag into the bathroom, locking the door.

He changes as quickly as he can. This shouldn’t take too long and he can get some food and be gone. This isn’t starting how he wanted. Jared comes back out and finds Jensen adjusting lighting. Against the wall there’s a bench angled for better camera coverage. 

“Hey, first I’m going to wrap up your knee on camera. Then we’ll go through a leg day type workout. The weights won’t be too heavy. This is to teach the players how to improve the muscles around the knee while not hurting it further. Any questions?” Jensen is in a different mode that seems all business, and that makes Jared feel much better.

“Sounds good. Do I have any lines in this? I’m not an actor.” Jared has never done anything in front of an audience or on tape. Well, unless you count the other night. 

“Nope. You just need to smile and do what I tell you. Sit on the bench and I will get all the wrapping stuff ready.” Jared goes to the bench to sit. He watches Jensen looking serious as he collects his stuff. Somehow that is even hotter to Jared. He closes his eyes for a moment and when he opens them Jensen is sitting next to him.

“Okay, give me your right knee. Put your leg flat on the bench.” Jensen looks at his leg and takes some lotion, applying it to his leg above and below the knee.

“I’m putting this on to save your hair from the wrap. I don’t want you to have any hairs yanked out. It will help keep your skin from drying out too while we work.” Jensen gives Jared his half-shy smile and Jared’s stomach does a slow flop.

Jensen turns on the camera and sits down, doing his spiel about caring for your joints. He uses plain language and is very efficient in his wrapping. They go through some leg exercises that make Jared sweat, but not too much. He hasn’t had a leg day in a while, but with his jog this morning he is a little tired when they’re finally done. 

“Great job Jared. You’re good at this. If you want to take a shower go ahead and when you come back out, we can have dinner. There’s another room with a table nearby. I will get everything down here while you’re busy Sugar.” Jensen gives Jared another wink and heads over to get the camera turned off. 

Jared just heads for the bathroom and locks the door. He isn’t sure how the rest of the evening will go but in all honesty, he has felt very relaxed with Jensen. The workout was just that with no extra touching. Jared is feeling silly for worrying about how he feels. This night will end with some good food and hopefully a friendship. He wants to know more about Jensen and of course who doesn’t want to know someone that works for the Cowboys? He is quick with the shower and after dressing he goes out to find Jensen. He smells that wonderful spaghetti and is that garlic bread too?! Oh man, his stomach is really growling now. He follows the smell to a room and sees the table laid out with two plates and a couple of wine glasses.

“Have a seat. Do you like wine?” Jensen stands and gestures to the other seat. He has changed into a button up silk shirt that’s jade green. His pants are still jeans, but they are black and skin-tight . The buttons down the front are open down to the third one. Jared can’t help but stare with his mouth open. His belly is feeling those bubbles again. Finally, after a few seconds he realizes he is staring, and blushes, heading to the empty seat and sitting down.

“Yes. Sorry. I do like wine. My parents had an extensive wine cellar. It was their one passion. I had too many parties at my house in high school.” Jared smiles from the fond memory. His dimples are on full display and he hears a quiet sigh from Jensen.

“Wow, my parents didn’t go that route. They just loved to travel.” Jensen pours Jared a glass of Merlot and then pours one for himself.

“Where did y’all go?” Jared spreads out his napkin in his lap trying to look like he isn’t hungry enough to dig in with both hands.

“They went all over the world. I just went to school. I didn’t see them much. My brother and sister were the ones that raised me.” Jensen sounds a little sad. He smiles, but it doesn’t show in his eyes.

“Me too! I have an older brother and younger sister. They took care of me. Our parents were there, but they were workaholics.” Jared thinks of Jeff and Megan. They have always been his best friends. He starts to dig into the spaghetti because he just can’t hold off his stomach any longer. He uses his fork, but he is barely holding off the need to shovel everything in his mouth at once.

“They were always there when I needed anything. I helped raise my sister Mackenzie. She was a handful and we drove Josh crazy. We were the clowns and Josh was the little adult. He was always serious, but he still always told me he loved me. I love them but we don’t talk as much as we used to.” Jensen is picking at his food more than eating. Jared feels bad and tries to think of a way to cheer him up. 

Jared starts slurping up the spaghetti and watching the noodle as the end nears his mouth. He goes cross-eyed as the noodle rises. It only takes a couple tries to get a little giggle from Jensen. Jared looks up and the beautiful smile on Jensen’s face makes his skin tingle. Jared’s smile gets bigger and his dimples are just as powerful to Jensen. They are both caught in a moment of longing. A little spark starts there, but neither of them knows it.

They eat for a while in silence. It is comfortable for them both. Jared feels the need to learn more about Jensen. He thinks that knowing more will help them become friends.  
“Why did you want to be an athletic trainer?” Jared leans back in the chair, sipping the wine and watching the gears turn in Jensen’s head.

“It started with my love of football. You know being raised in Texas as a boy means football. I did peewee league and up to high school. I got a pretty bad knee injury and had to be treated for it by an athletic trainer. The school I went to uses a local college trainer because they wanted their boys to be healthy and ready to play. I got better, but by the time my therapy was up I realized the only way I was going pro was to be a trainer. I was not gifted playing football but, I realized I wanted to help people more than play anyway. It really filled something in me I didn’t know I was missing.” Jensen looks off in the distance as he finishes. He seems to be lost in a memory.

“Looks like that worked out well for you. I am glad you’re doing something that makes you happy. I was impressed with how gentle you were. I felt kind of pampered.” Jared blushes a deeper shade of red. 

“Aww you’re too cute. I love your blushes. Are you shy?” Jensen reaches out and strokes Jared’s cheek with a finger. Their eyes meet and hold for a few seconds. It feels like it lasts forever but Jared looks away first, feeling flushed all over.

“Yeah kinda. I don’t know why but I am around you.” Jared can’t believe he just said that. What is he doing? That wine must be strong. He is feeling a little dizzy.

“Maybe it’s because we met under strange circumstances.” Jensen is looking at him like he is hungry again.

“Right, uh that was great food. Thanks for dinner.” Jared is having that panicked feeling again that he needs to get out of this place. He has never felt this anxious about anything before. His dick however seems to be remembering the last time he was here. It started stirring when Jensen touched his cheek. 

“Don’t leave yet Jared. I like your company.” Jensen’s voice has dipped into the rich gravelly timbre Jared responds to. 

Jared shivers all over and closes his eyes. He feels Jensen’s hand on his. Jared knows his body feels one way, but his mind is screaming to stop. It feels so natural to be with Jensen. Why can’t his brain just turn off? 

Jared hears Jensen get up from his chair. He waits for the touch he knows is coming. Sure enough strong hands are on his shoulders.

Jensen is massaging his shoulders slowly. Jared leans his head against the flat stomach behind him and gives a soft moan. Just a massage is enough to get Jared’s body heading in a sexual direction. His mind is telling him to leave. It isn’t right to do this again. Why did he come here? Jared’s cock on the other hand is already hard and wanting more.

“So tense Sugar, just relax. Remember if you want to leave you can.” Jensen shifts his hands to Jared’s neck and then up towards his scalp. 

“Feels soooo good.” Jared is melting into the chair. He has always loved his hair being played with. That was a discovery by a girlfriend a few years ago. She loved his hair and played with it often. Maybe that was why he had more sex with her than any other girlfriend. Jared frowns at the thought. How many girlfriends did he have sex with? Why can’t he think of any other good ones other than the hair girl. He can’t even remember her name.

“You think too much. Just enjoy the moment.” Jensen was talking in his ear again. The hot breath and that voice is enough to make Jared shiver.

“Sometimes I wish I could just shut it off.” Jared feels a wave of sadness. Sometimes his brain was ruthless. He wishes he could just stop overthinking everything.

“I can help. Do you want help?” Jensen’s voice is so low now the vibrations from his throat even tickle Jared’s neck.

“Yes. Can I request something?” Jared can’t stop the need to find out about that swing. He is pretty sure it has to do with sex. 

“Anything, Sugar.” Jensen has moved his hands back to the shoulders now, but the touches are much more soft and teasing now. Jared’s cock has woken up and is making all other worries and thoughts melt away.

“Please, can we use the swing?” Jared’s voice is so soft, and his face is so red that Jensen almost laughs at the childlike look he has now.

“I thought you would never ask. I want to make sure you really want to do this Jared. I want you to be sure.” Jensen stopped his touches and stands Jared up. 

Jared opens his eyes and looks at Jensen. Jensen’s face is full of hope and hunger. Jared feels like if he did say no now Jensen would let him go without any more words. Jared thinks really hard for a few moments. He finds a fear in his heart, but not the reason for it. He knows this attraction is on a different level and he wants to explore it. He can overthink this tomorrow.

“Yes, please.” Jared sees the effect of his words on Jensen’s face. It lights up and then a fire is burning in his eyes. His jaw is slack as if he means to kiss Jared. That is one line Jared does not want to cross right now. He is not sure why, but the panic inside him is real and overwhelming. He moves a hand to Jensen’s chest and gently strokes there as if he is testing the waters. Jensen lets out a long moan as if that was all he was waiting for. 

Jensen takes Jared’s hand and walks him back towards the dark mysterious room. The swing is in the middle of the room so that it can be used fully without injury. Jensen goes to turn on the light, but Jared stays his hand.

“Can we leave it off?” Jared isn’t meeting Jensen’s eye. He is afraid of seeing Jensen fully naked. The blindfold made him feel like he was safer. The darkness here is the same. 

“Sure, sweetheart.” Jensen pulls Jared in closer and leans in for a kiss. Jared moves his head to the side and Jensen just rolls with it, kissing his neck and nibbling on his ear. Just those touches are enough to make Jared moan and rub his hard cock against Jensen’s hip. Jensen groans against his neck and the vibrations make Jared shiver.

They both begin to remove each other’s clothes as quickly as possible. Jensen licking and nibbling at Jared’s collarbone and upper chest. He is slow and thorough. Jared has never had anyone touch him so much before. His skin tingles every time Jensen’s lips touch it. Jared is so lost in the touches he doesn’t notice that they are both naked until Jensen’s huge cock jumps against his leg. Jared gasps at that hot silky touch. It is a sensation like nothing else. Jared realizes that touching your own dick is nothing like the feel of another one against you. All the blood trapped inside it makes it so very warm. It is almost a burning sensation against cooling skin. 

Jensen finds a nipple and sucks it in as a finger finds the other. Jared cries out and his head leans back, pushing his chest towards the sensation. The wet suction makes him feel like there is a string running from his nipple to his cock. Every suck makes it jump. The pinching on the other nipple makes him ache low in his belly. Those little licking flames of fire are back. The sensations together are intoxicating. 

Jensen takes his time and builds up the fire in Jared. He spends minutes on each nipple, pulling sounds from Jared. Curses, whispers, and moans. Each one is a symphony for Jensen. There is no need to hurry and fumble this time. 

Jared's body is becoming limper and more wobbly the longer this goes on.

“Swing, please, Jensen?” Jared can’t string too many words together. His brain is totally focused on the pleasure.  
Jensen chuckles and steps back, holding on to Jared.

“I’ll tip the swing forward. You walk backwards a couple steps.” Jared nods and when Jensen gives him a gentle nudge, he walks back until he feels a solid leather board at his back. 

“Okay, now you lean back and I’ll rotate it. You’re safe, I promise.” Jared takes a deep breath and leans. He feels strong arms around him, and he tilts until he is lying flat.  
Jared sighs at the wonderful supported feeling. 

“You look beautiful Sugar.” Jensen speaks with such awe and reverence that Jared smiles. Jensen then tucks Jared’s feet into special footholds that open his legs wider, and Jared closes his eyes.

He feels Jensen’s breath against his legs. Jared shivers and his cock jumps. 

Jensen strokes his legs, massaging the muscles as he moves his hands up Jared’s legs. His fingers gently stir the hair and give Jared goosebumps.   
Something wet touches Jared’s nuts and he wiggles. It is a reaction, but what is weird is the whole swing moves. He is shifting away from the source of pleasure. Jared opens his eyes to look and gasps. He is looking at Jensen’s eyes peering over his cock and the light from the next room outlines his body. He is like a shadow to Jared. His eyes are shining but Jared can’t make out colors.

Jensen’s grin is almost evil as he watches Jared’s face.

“Watch me Sugar.” Jensen grabs the swing and pulls it towards him slowly. Jared feels a lick across his nuts leaving a wet trail, but it makes his stomach tighten. He can see the intensity of Jensen’s stare as he feels a little suction and tongue again, but lower. Jensen’s nose also nudges the sensitive skin. Jared groans and widens his legs. He wants more of this.

“Mmmhmm you taste sooo sweet.” The vibrations from Jensen’s lips make his skin tingle.

“Fuuuck, please, more.” Jared can’t look away from those eyes.

Jensen moans and hums against his skin making him groan and wriggle. Jared reaches down with a hand to rub his cock. A pool of pre come is forming on his stomach. He needs some friction. Jensen reaches up and takes the hand. His mouth doesn’t leave Jared’s balls, but Jensen sets the hand down next to Jared’s side. Jensen uses his own hand to run a finger from the head of Jared’s cock to the base, slowly. Jared’s cock jumps and he shivers hard.

Jensen stops sucking his balls and takes Jared’s cock in his hand. He uses one hand to lift it away from Jared’s body and the other to scoop up the pre come and rub it all down his shaft. Jensen grins and then uses his tongue only to clean up Jared’s cock. No lips or suction, just licking. 

“Holy fuuuck.” Jared feels like his skin is on fire. His stomach is full of flames and all he wants is Jensen inside him.

Jensen moans. He leans in to lick below Jared’s balls and head for his sweet hole. This time he doesn’t want to hurry, he wants Jared to be so insanely ready for him.   
Jensen spreads apart Jared’s cheeks and uses a flat tongue to lick from below his hole to his taint. One long lick. Jared goes wild. He is shivering almost constantly, and his hand is back on his cock. He needs friction and with a mouth on his southern star he can’t help himself.

Jensen keeps licking slowly. Jared’s skin is soft and responsive. Jensen listens to the constant stream of sounds from Jared. He smiles and uses both thumbs on either side of his hole to spread it open a little bit. Jared moans and Jensen sticks his tongue inside, sliding along the silky walls. Jared can’t hold back and bucks on to the tongue, trying to get it deeper inside.

Jensen moans and goes as deep as he can, licking and stroking. Jared has been stroking his cock almost constantly and the invasion of that tongue brings on a swift and hard orgasm. Jared doesn’t have time to even warn Jensen. 

Jensen can tell from the clenching of the muscle around his tongue. Jared is groaning and still pumping his cock. 

Jensen doesn’t stop. He wants Jared to be falling apart by the time he gets to slip inside him.

Jared uses the come in his hand and rubs it all over his cock that just won’t stop being hard. 

“Please.fuck.me.” Jared can barely get out the words. He is floating on the orgasm, but he wants so much more. 

Jensen groans and holds his cock. He doesn’t want to come too soon. He wants to be buried deep in Jared when he does.

“I need to get a couple things. Don’t go anywhere.” Jensen winks at Jared and takes off for a cabinet towards the back of the room. Jared closes his eyes and holds on to his cock. He doesn’t want to stroke it without Jensen there. 

Jensen comes back with a bottle of lube and a condom. What Jared can’t see is that Jensen put on the same strap he had on Jared the other night.  
Jensen goes back to Jared and pulls the swing close. 

“I need your help Sugar. Hold your cheeks apart for me.” Jensen smiles that wicked grin and Jared obeys. Jared pulls up his knees towards his chest. He uses his hands and as soon as he is open, Jensen is back. Jensen is using suction and his tongue. Jared is in heaven. He moans, his cock still hard against his stomach. 

Jensen uses the lube on his fingers as he tongues Jared. Once ready he gives one last lick and then uses a finger, rubbing it against the softened hole.   
“Oh yes, pu,please.” Jared shivers and bites his lip. The feel of Jensen’s fingers is all pleasure for Jared. He has been slowly opened and softened. Now the fingers that follow are scratching an itch. The slide and slickness of the lube is so much better than the first time. Jensen’s finger is in far enough to tickle his prostate. Jared cries out and his cock is up almost straight in the air it is so hard. He is bucking at air and wanting more.

Jensen moans and pours another generous glob of lube on his finger. He inserts a second and together they play on Jared’s prostate like a piano. Jared’s face is flushed and he is panting for breath. His cock is bouncing against his stomach when a third finger is added.

“JENSEN!!” Jared cries out and his cock spurts what little come his balls have made in the short amount of time. He is jerking and wiggling, his mouth open wide. He is seeing stars this time. He lets go of his cheeks and rides Jensen’s fingers down from the orgasm.

Jensen had to grab his own cock when Jared came so he didn’t follow him. Hearing his name from this sweet boy was almost too much.  
Jensen gently removes his fingers and Jared moans from the empty feeling. 

“Jensen, please, inside me.” Jared groans. He wants to be filled up. He needs to be filled up.  
Jensen puts on the condom as fast as he can. He lubes it up and gets lined up.

“Now for the real fun.” Jensen kisses Jared’s thigh nearby and then holds his hips as he slowly pushes inside. Jared is so relaxed from two orgasms that he doesn’t even feel the burn. Jensen is thick, but this is heaven for them both. Jensen grabs the straps of the swing and pushes the swing away. Jensen’s cock eases out of Jared almost to the head, then Jensen gently pulls it back and lets gravity sink him inside Jared balls deep.

“Oh GOD, more….” Jared is groaning and watching Jensen as he swings him away again and pulls him back. The motion is so smooth, and the angle is just right for Jensen to brush his prostate. The touch is so teasing that Jared angles himself for a deeper penetration with the next swing forward.   
Jensen is moaning and he can’t stop himself from using his lubed hand to slowly jerk Jared's cock with each pass. Jared is still so hard that Jensen is almost envious that he is on his way to orgasm number three. 

Jensen feels the tension building in his own balls.

“Faster, FUCKING…oh.” Jared wants more. He wants to make Jensen come.

Jensen grunts and grabs the straps closer to Jared’s head. Using shorter strokes, but more of Jared’s body weight, he fucks deep and hard inside Jared.  
“Sweetheart…feel..so good.” Jensen jerks Jared’s cock faster as he feels his own orgasm building. They are both building towards a connection they never suspected.  
It only takes a few more strokes for Jared to lock up, calling out to Jensen. Jensen goes deep and takes off the strap around his cock with one hand. They both come at the same time. Jared’s cock in Jensen’s hand spurting his last little bit of fluid. Jensen is filling up the condom in great spurts. His cock is jerking hard enough in Jared to keep rubbing his prostate and Jared is shivering. 

They both come down, panting and sweating. Jensen gives Jared’s thigh another kiss before pulling out. Jared is floating in his warm cocoon of bubbles. His skin feels like one big nerve. 

Jensen goes to dispose of the condom, gets a washcloth, and comes back to clean up Jared. Jensen uses small gentle brushes to get Jared’s cock and stomach clean. Jensen uses a second cloth to wipe Jared’s face. It will help cool him down and let him come back down gently. Jared smiles and looks at Jensen. They are so close that he can see the expressions on Jensen's face. The sweet care that Jensen is showing Jared is almost breathtaking. No one in Jared’s life has treated him this gently before. Jared’s smile to Jensen is one of pure joy. They stare at each other for a moment and nothing else exists. They are bonding deeply. Jared wonders what exactly will happen now.


	6. Memories

Jared is back to earth after the mind bending sex and he wants out of the swing. Jensen holds on to Jared’s chest with one arm as he tips him forward letting his feet touch the floor. 

Jared lets a few seconds pass, getting his mind and body together and ready to move. He pats Jensen’s arm to let him know he can let go. Jensen grins at Jared and lets him go. Jensen watches for any signs that Jared isn’t stable.

Jared gets a few steps in and feels more confident. He heads for his clothes and goes back to the bathroom to change. The bathroom, for him, is a way to put back on his mask of calmness. He is a volcano of emotions right now. He doesn’t want Jensen to question him too hard. He doesn’t know what to say. His brain is insisting he should run and never see Jensen again. He needs to leave no matter what. Jared takes a few deep breaths and then comes out to find Jensen sitting on the bench looking spaced out and sad.  
It hurts Jared’s heart like someone is squeezing it. He pushes that aside and plasters on a smile.

“Well thanks for the food and fun. I gotta get going.” Jared is edging towards the stairs.

“Wait, I want to pay you for helping me with the video.” Jensen feels he needs to keep Jared there to calm him down . He looks like he will bolt at any moment.

“No, I don’t want to be paid. I wanted to help out.” Jared is still walking away and now the panic is so high in his body. He will turn and run if he has to talk to Jensen anymore.

“Please Jared just stay a few more minutes.” Jensen knows Jared is on the verge of going away and not coming back. 

“Jensen, I can’t.” Jared can’t even look at Jensen. He just walks up the stairs two at a time. He goes out the front door without another word. Jensen listens for the sound of Jared’s Charger taking off.

Jared drives home on auto pilot. His mind is filled with so much noise he can’t pick out a single thought. He just wants to be safe at home. Jared gets in his apartment and puts down his keys, flopping onto his couch. He stares at the blank TV screen. He feels like screaming and throwing things. Jared is so confused and scared. Why should he be scared? That was a strange thought to crop up in his mind. Nothing scary happened. He focuses on that thought. It is just a blind panic as if he is being chased. That makes even less sense.

Jared decides on a shower and hopes the hot water can clear his head. Standing in the shower, Jared lets the water pound on his face and shoulders. The sting makes him feel like he is punishing himself. Jared is not a depressed person but, in this instance, he can feel the dark thoughts trying to crowd in his brain. He feels heavy all over and just finishing the shower is hard. He dresses in his pajamas and crawls into bed. He just wants sleep to take over, but it won’t. His body is exhausted, but his mind is busy. He starts sliding into a dream state and dreams of his dog Sam. Sam has been dead for almost 6 years now. That is one of the many reasons he doesn’t own an animal. He loves them, but when he learned more about how to care for them, he decided he wouldn’t get an animal until he had a stable and suitable home. Jared doesn’t want to have a dog in an apartment when he will barely see it or be able to exercise the animal. He has enough trouble exercising himself let alone a dog. 

When Sam died Jared was 16. Jared was taking good care of Sam and being responsible. The problem was you can’t watch a dog every second. Sam got a hold of a mushroom that was poisonous. He ate it, and by the time he was throwing it up he was already dying. Jared called the vet and his brother drove them there, but not too long after the vet saw Sam he died. The vet explained to Jared that he did nothing wrong. He was a good dog owner, but sometimes bad things happen. Jared cried for probably a whole day. He didn’t go to school and his brother explained that he was broken up about their dog dying. That was the one time Jared can remember feeling hopeless. It is the one thing his brain is latching onto now. He is feeling hopeless right now and he doesn't know how to fix it. Jared’s dreams were haunted by Sam. He woke up the next morning crying. 

Jared called in to work for the first time that day. He couldn’t get out of bed, let alone go to work with animals today.   
He also called his teacher to say he wouldn’t be in class that night. The teacher said it was okay and he was a great student, so don’t worry. Everyone needs a mental health day now and again.

Jared sat in his bed. He only got up to go to the bathroom and he barely ate. His mind was still sad about Sam, but it was really stuck on Jensen.   
Jared knew that the problem was something buried deep inside of him. He can't remember anything specific happening to him and he is getting upset.  
He just keeps replaying the night and trying to find something that spooked him. Jared doesn’t mind gay people at all. He knows that he is attracted to Jensen and he wants to see him again. The question is will Jensen want to see him? Jared practically ran out of there like his pants were on fire. 

In the evening, Jared decided to call it an early night so he could get up and go to work the next day. His mind was exhausted and at the early hour of 9pm Jared went to sleep. His exhaustion sunk him into a deep sleep. He tossed and turned but got some rest. When he wakes up at 7am to go to work, he feels a little better.   
Jared gets ready and goes about his day as if nothing happened. He decides to push the whole bad day aside and go on as if he were fine. That lasted for a few days until he found he was becoming irritable to everyone and not much fun to be around.

Jared decides that keeping himself busy is the best way to feel better. He also ran across that thumb drive with Jensen flogging him. Jared didn’t want to watch it at first. He thought maybe it would make him want to contact Jensen. He eventually watched it, and was relieved to find it was incredibly sexy. He jerked off to it of course. It was hot and Jared loved to watch Jensen.

Jared realized that if he used it as a way to “see” Jensen he might be able to stay away from the real life person. This was brilliant. If he got his fix regularly, he could carry on with his life the way it was. Jared could treat it as a porn stash that kept him from being an asshole to everyone around him.

It helped for maybe two weeks, then he started getting snappy again. It wasn’t until he was working out with his friends that something hit him like a freight train.  
Jared was lifting free weights with Stephen, Tom, and Chad. Their crew worked out on Wednesdays when Jared had a night off from school. They kept to themselves and they were mostly left alone. 

Tonight, a couple of jerks were doing circuit training. They enjoyed being loud and mean to each other and anyone else that crossed their path. Jared did his best to avoid them. He came to the gym to work out and hang with his friends. He didn’t want to deal with assholes.

A scrawny guy was coming over to use a machine one of the assholes had just walked away from. His buddy, let’s call him asshole #2, yelled at the guy.  
“Hey faggot, what the fuck are you doing?” Asshole #2 gets right in the guy’s face.

“Nothing man, I just wanted to use the machine.” Scrawny guy is looking uneasy.

“This machine is taken, fuck off.” Asshole #1 has come back and gets in on the action.

“Fine, whatever.” Scrawny guy scurries off and the Assholes high five and go back to their routine.

Jared was barely listening but when he heard the word "faggot" his mind kind of greyed out and his ears began ringing in a low tone. He heard the conversation, but it was like he was in a fog. As soon as the incident was over, Jared had the feeling he needed to puke. He takes off for the bathroom at a near run.

He kneels just in time and pukes up everything. He heaves until there isn’t anything left. Jared keeps hearing the word "faggot" playing on a loop. It makes him feel sick inside.  
Stephen finds him a few minutes later.

“Dude, you ok?” Stephen offers him a wet paper towel.

“Not really. I think I have a flu bug. I’m going home.” Jared got up and flushed the toilet. 

“Ok man take it easy. Do you need me to drive you home?” Stephen is watching him closely, with a worried frown.

“No really I’m fine now. I’ll text you later.” Jared gathers up his bag and leaves. He knows Stephen will explain to his pals. He makes it home with no more puking, but he takes some Pepto and lays down with a bucket by the bed just in case. 

Jared feels cold and clammy. He was feeling fine earlier, so this makes no sense. Jared gets up to change into pajamas and gets back in bed. Maybe some sleep will help him feel better. 

Jared slides off into dreamland but with a recurring nightmare. He is on the playground in 1st grade so he is 6 years old and a normal kid. One of his friends falls and hurts his elbow. Jared runs over and helps him up. The kid is crying so Jared hugs him then gives the elbow a kiss like his Mom had done a few times. The playground monitor comes up and gets in Jared’s face.

“What are you doing? Are you a faggot you little freak? You don’t kiss guys.” The guy’s face was so close to Jared’s and he could feel the anger pouring off the man. 

Jared started to cry, and when a teacher came over, the monitor explained what had happened and she chewed him out. Jared didn’t hear the conversation, but he got a hug from the teacher. She told him to not worry about it and that everything was fine. 

Jared remembers thinking that all he wanted to do was make his friend feel better. The anger from the man stuck with young Jared. He was afraid of anything that made adults mad at him. At that age he decided kissing boys for any reason was not good. Obviously as an adult he knows why the monitor freaked out. As a child, his developing brain just decided to avoid doing whatever made the adult mad.

When Jared wakes up he is sick to his stomach but doesn’t throw up. He doesn't want to call into work again so he takes some more Pepto and goes to work. He is distracted all day. His mind won’t stop thinking about the gym and the dream that dug up his memory. He isn’t sure what to do with the information.

Jared wants more than anything to talk to someone about this. Who can he talk to? His friends are out of the question. His parents are out too. Maybe his brother or sister? No, he needs someone outside of this mess. It hits him finally that if he sees a therapist, they will have a much more objective view. Feeling better, Jared makes a mental note to schedule an appointment. 

Another couple of weeks go by pretty much as normal. Jared sees a therapist and he is starting to understand things a little better.   
He gets a minor setback when he is out with his buddies and they are having the usual conversation about chasing girls. Jared is glad he usually isn’t included in these talks. Although, this time he is feeling curious why he doesn’t get included.

“Hey guys, I’m thinking of asking Susie out at work.” Jared watches as his friends nearly choke on their drinks.

“Dude really? Uh, go for it then bro.” Stephen gives him a bro fist but his enthusiasm seems forced. Tom and Chad nod, but with confused looks.  
Jared fumes to himself as they move on to a different topic. This doesn’t feel right. Has he just never noticed his friends not teasing him because he was glad he didn’t have to play along? Did they know something he didn’t? Maybe he would ask Susie out after all. Hell, he didn’t even know what he wanted, how could they?

He does ask Susie out and she happily agrees. The next day Jared is anxious. What is he going to do? He did it to prove to himself he could have the choice. Now he doesn’t want to at all. Jared acts excited to her at work, but it is really making him feel uncomfortable. 

Luckily for Jared the universe intervenes and as he leaves work he gets a long overdue call.  
Jared’s phone rings and he picks it up before seeing who it is.  
“What up bro?” Jared is glad Stephen called, he really needs to talk to someone.

“Bro Sugar?” Jared nearly drops his phone as he gets in his car.

“Jensen?” Jared sits there with his mouth open.

“Yes, I know. Long time no see.” Jensen sounds nervous, but happy.

“Sorry I didn’t call. I've been working through some things.” Jared starts his car and gets on the road. Sometimes traffic sucks and he wants to be home.

“Don’t worry I just called to ask if you want to come over and hang out tonight?” Jensen’s voice is so soothing.

“I would love that. I’ve missed seeing you.” Jared blushes, but he is so relieved to hear from Jensen.

“Me too Sugar . Just come over when you’re ready.” Jensen sounds excited.

“Ok, see ya soon.” Jared hangs up and pumps his fist in the air. He didn’t realize how much he needed to see Jensen until he heard his voice again.


	7. Watching

Jared gets home and takes a quick shower. He doesn’t want to see Jensen while he is still smelling like animals. Jared is so excited he doesn't even realize how much he has missed Jensen. He thought maybe working through his issues and being busy would clear out the need to see him. He was obviously wrong about that. What the time apart did was give Jared time to get some things straight in his mind. 

Jared gets himself ready, taking time to lotion his skin and mess with his hair. He really wants to look good. Heading over to Jensen’s house he’s feeling so good he sings along with the radio. He doesn’t even have time to knock on the door, Jensen is right there.

“Jared, I‘m so glad you’re here.” Jensen’s big smile makes the skin at the corners of his eyes crinkle. This little detail makes Jared’s heart beat faster.

“I’m glad you called.” Jared blushes and steps inside. Lights are lower this evening and it gives Jared flashbacks to that first night. He shivers a little.

“I know you play poker, but do you play pool?” Jensen has that evil smile.

“I do. I’m good enough to beat you too.” Jared wants to at least prove himself competent in something.

Jensen leads them to a sunken living room towards the back of the house. The room is carpeted, unlike the rest of the house. The carpet is a creamy tan and thick. The pool table is large and accented in black leather. The pockets are the old-fashioned style of netting to catch the balls. It looks well used, but clean. The overhead light is right out of a bar. It’s stained glass with pictures of balls and cue sticks on it. The wall has a mounted cue holder and the cues are a deep cherry color with gold and black accents. There is a large black couch facing a wall- mounted TV and on another wall is a dart board.

“Oh really? Let’s rack them up.” Jensen gets everything ready and Jared goes to look at the cues on the wall.

Jared picks out his cue and watches as Jensen rolls the balls in the rack to the center of the back of the table. Jensen grins up at Jared.  
“So let’s make this interesting. If you win this game I will do one task for you. You can ask me to do anything.” Jensen looks confident, but excited. Like maybe he wants to lose the bet.

“What if you win?” Jared asks and his heart is beating so hard waiting for an answer.

“Hmmm. How about you let me flog you again.” Jensen’s voice has gotten lower again and filled with sweet honey.

Jared looks at him, his eyes wide. He hadn’t imagined something straight out of his latest fantasy. He just stares at Jensen, trying to form words.  
“Yes.” That is all Jared can manage. His throat is dry and his muscles aren’t working right anymore.

Jensen chuckles low in his throat as he watches Jared freeze up. This will be like shooting fish in a barrel.  
“Alright. You want to break first?” Jensen winks, hoping Jared picks up on the double entendre.

“Okay.” Jared is pretty sure he will screw this up now. His pride wants him to win the bet. His body wants to give in to Jensen on the wall again.

Jared gets himself to the table without tripping and falling. He tries to take a few calming breaths. Jared concentrates on the balls and where he should line up his shot. He leans down to line it up and takes his shot. It is a clean and hard break. He gets a solid colored ball in the side pocket. 

“Solids then. Watch me work.” Jared grins with those dimples and Jensen is hard instantly and trying to hide it.

Jared takes his time and is sinking his shots. Jensen is impressed. It might be tough to get this win. Jared makes all the shots and as he lines up the last shot, Jensen walks to stand behind the pocket Jared is aiming for. He puts his cue stick next to the visible bulge in his jeans. 

Jared sees it and his mouth dries up. He is torn between making his shot and winning or just dropping everything and going over there to grab that thick cock.   
Jensen sees all these emotions pass over Jared’s face and it is beautiful to watch. Jensen doesn’t care who wins. In the end he knows Jared wants him and that is enough.  
Jared shakes his head and refocuses. He sinks the shot and raises his hands up to the ceiling, strutting around the table.

“Hmmm… what should I get you to do?” Jared is excited. He has to think of something good to make Jensen do for him.

“Look hotshot, how about we have some beers and make it best two out of three?” Jensen is not about to lose to Jared. He wants him on that wall again.

“Beers sound good but I think our bet was just for that game.” Jared doesn’t want to let Jensen weasel out of this.

“Be right back and we’ll see.” Jensen puts down his cue on the table and takes off for the kitchen, adjusting himself as he goes.

Jared gets the balls back in the rack and sets it up. He doesn’t want to lose, but he also doesn’t want this night to be over too soon.  
After a few minutes Jensen comes back with a grin and a blush, but no beers.

“I have a huge favor to ask Jared.” Jensen is rubbing the back of his neck and looking sheepish.

“Ask away loser.” Jared is cocky, but curious.

“My roommate JD needs us to help him. I told him I would ask, but I'm not sure you will want to.” Jensen looks nervous.

“What is it?” Jared is nervous now, too.

“He has one of his subs here tonight and he wants us to observe them.”

“Observe? Like in the room?” Jared doesn’t like the sound of that.

“No, just in the room behind the windows. We're going to remind the sub that someone is watching by knocking on the glass when JD wants us to.” Jensen is pacing now.

“That doesn’t sound so bad. I can do that. I just would feel creepy being in the room.” Jared is a little turned on by the thought. He liked their video, so maybe this would be like live porn.

“Really? Okay I’ll let him know, then we’ll head down there.” Jensen has a sparkle in his eye and Jared thinks that might mean something hot for him.

Jensen disappears for a bit and then they head down to the room. It has a couch and some tall tables and chairs, like a bar. A little mini fridge and of course the huge glass windows looking in on the wall and the two occupants in the room.

JD is decked out in tight, black leather pants. No underwear on either from the lack of lines. He has a black fitted wife beater shirt with a couple of leather arm bands on his biceps. His hair is slicked back and his biker boots complete the look. His black chest hair is curling around the edge of the shirt. His scruffy beard is black with a little grey, like his hair. His skin is a golden color and his strong hands are almost caressing the young man in front of him. Jared is surprised he doesn’t have a chain running from his wallet to his belt loop.

The younger man is bent over what looks like a construction sawhorse. It’s made of a dark cherry wood like everything else in the room. It has black leather padding where the kid is bent over it. His hands and feet are cuffed to the corners of the item. The young man is naked. He looks to be younger even than Jared, but only by a couple years. He has brown hair and blue eyes. The young man’s skin is oiled up and golden. He looks like he is on display on a raised platform. The other lights in the room are dimmed, but a spotlight shines on them from above. 

JD is walking around the kid and looking at him as if inspecting him. 

“Alex, I have a surprise for you.” JD grins, looking up at the window. His voice is intimate and broadcasts into the room Jared and Jensen are in.

Jared jumps, then notices a flesh colored microphone on JD’s cheek. Jensen chuckles and knocks on the window.  
“When he looks at us, I knock to remind Alex we are watching.” Jensen is biting his lip as he watches JD pick up a flogger with medium length falls of soft, black leather.

Jared is watching Jensen’s lips. They are so plump and his teeth catching that flesh makes him squirm. He is so hard he wants to adjust, but he doesn’t want to catch Jensen’s eye.  
Jared is startled out of his thoughts by the snap of leather against flesh. He sees JD slowly circling Alex. The flogger hits against his thighs and they can see Alex’s eyes squeeze shut and hear a sharp intake of breath. He must have a microphone too. JD grins and lays a few more hits to the same area, then looks up at the glass again. Jensen knocks but it is almost absently as if he is seeing something different in that room.

JD steps off the platform and uses his boot to spin it so they can see Alex’s red thighs and his dangling cock. He has a black leather strap around his balls, tight enough that the skin is smooth of lines and his cock is hard and bobbing. 

“I think our friends want more of a show. Ready?” JD circles again, rubbing a hand softly across the red flesh. His voice is teasing, but husky.

“Yes Sir.” Alex’s voice is soft, but they can hear the heat in it.

“Good, little one.” JD begins a round of flogging all up and down Alex’s legs. Jensen and Jared hear lots of slapping, but almost no other noises. This kid must be good at holding it together.

Jared is softly moaning as he imagines himself there with Jensen whipping him. He looks over and Jensen is eyeing him like he was lunch. His eyes are almost black with a ring of emerald around it. He grins and circles behind Jared, pressing close against his back.

“Are you imagining yourself there?” Jensen’s husky whisper tickles his ear.

Jared moans as Jensen’s hand reaches around to rub against his aching cock through his jeans. He gasps and throws his head back, pushing his cock into the hand. His head is supported on Jensen’s shoulder and a thick, hard cock is pushing against his ass. Jared doesn’t know if he wants to push forward or back. It is almost a brain overload of pleasures. Jensen makes the decision for him and pushes his cock against Jared as he pulls the cock in his hand back towards him.

They both jump as they hear a loud smack come from the other room. JD is using his hand against Alex’s pink ass. A groan comes over the speaker. Alex is enjoying this part. They catch JD looking at them and Jensen knocks again. Alex moans, as if being reminded of the watchers is making him even hotter.

Jensen and Jared are both distracted. The sound coming in is just making their own little play hotter. The sound of hands slapping along Alex’s ass make Jared’s skin tingle. He wants that again, he wants Jensen making him feel the sting. Jared’s chest is heaving as he struggles to catch his breath. 

JD gives a hard smack to Alex’s dangling package and they hear a short curse. JD grins, as he enjoys making this kid squirm.  
“Aww, did that hurt?” JD’s tone is just begging for Alex to make a mistake.

“No Sir.” Alex’s voice is wobbly.

“Oh, so you’re calling me stupid?” JD’s voice turns into steel and a loud smack comes over the speaker.

“What? No Sir, I uhm..” Alex’s voice is pure panic. He is wiggling and trying to see JD’s face.

JD lands a few more hard spanks to Alex who is wiggling and on the verge of tears. JD looks up at the mirrors and winks. Jensen knocks again and pulls Jared’s ear into his mouth, sucking and licking it.

“Fuuuck, that feels so good.” Jared’s voice is breathless as he closes his eyes for a moment. 

“Don’t be afraid to admit it hurts. It’s meant to.” JD lays a few more open palm hits across Alex’s lower back and shoulders. 

“Yes Sir.” Alex is quivering, but a little moan comes across the speakers at the same time Jared moans.

Jensen is licking and biting down Jared’s neck as he grinds his cock against Jared’s crack. Jensen undoes Jared’s button and zipper freeing his hard and wet cock. Jared moans and shivers as the strong hand closes around his hot shaft. He barely hears the snaps of the flogger coming from the other room. His eyes are half closed, but he watches the scene before him.

JD gets off the platform and spins it so Alex is sideways to the windows. He struts over to a wooden cabinet and opens it up, looking for some items.  
Jensen is slowly jacking Jared as he works on sucking a hickey into the joint of Jared’s neck and shoulder. Jared groans, pushing himself back against Jensen’s hard cock wanting it buried deep inside him again. Jensen moans against Jared’s neck, squeezing his cock a little harder before letting go. Jared groans and whimpers getting a chuckle out of Jensen.

“Easy sugar.” Jensen looks up just in time to see JD cocking his head at the window and walking closer. He reaches out and knocks. JD nods and turns back towards Alex with a strange metal object and a bottle in his hand.

JD opens the fly on his leather pants and pulls out his cock. It is hard and slick. He walks to Alex and rubs the cock against his lips. Alex opens obediently, but JD sticks the metal object on his tongue.

“Get this nice and wet for me.” The metal is curved like a fish hook but instead of a sharp end there is a metal ball. Alex is sucking and licking the metal ball as JD jerks himself slowly. 

JD pulls it out of his mouth and goes towards Alex’s ass. He pulls out a bottle of lube and puts it on Alex’s crack and the metal ball. 

“Ready little one?” JD doesn’t hesitate, but slides the ball inside Alex. Alex moans long and low as the metal slides inside him. There was a hole in the straight part of the metal pointing toward Alex’s shoulders. A rope was through the hole and after JD was happy with the placement he walks to Alex’s head with the rope in one hand. He grins at the glass one more time and Jensen knocks again. 

Jensen was watching closely, he hadn’t seen that piece of equipment before and he wanted to know what it did. JD kneels down and unlocks Alex’s hands, lifting his head up.  
“Open wide.” JD opens his pants and pulls out his cock. It is huge and curved. Alex moans again as he opens his mouth. JD puts Alex’s hands on his thighs so he can hold himself up. Alex waits with mouth open looking up at his master. JD slides his cock inside Alex’s mouth and sinks in more than halfway. Jared watches his mouth open as Alex is humming around the cock in his mouth. It stretches his lips wide and JD stands there watching. He isn’t thrusting, he is just holding still. Jared is so focused on if Alex can breathe he doesn’t notice that Jensen has slid Jared’s pants and underwear down past his knees. He jumps when Jensen’s slick cock head is sliding up and down his crack.

“This is so fucking hot.” Jensen’s voice is so low and filled with need.

“I need you inside me Jensen.” Jared whispers it, but he can tell he was heard. Jensen’s cock jumps against his ass.

JD finally pulls his cock out and they can hear gasping and choking but it is a far away noise for them. Jared leans forward and puts his hands on the glass. He wiggles against Jensen’s slick cock. They both groan as they watch JD slap his cock against Alex’s face. Then a loud gasp and groan are heard over the speakers as JD is pulling on the rope attached to the metal hook in Alex’s ass. It seems to lift him up on his toes for a moment.

“That metal inside you little one. It is only coming out when I come.” JD slams his cock deep in Alex’s throat. Alex hums around the cock and his throat works as if he is trying to stroke the huge obstruction. JD closes his eyes and moans, his hand carding through Alex’s hair. His other hand slowly pulling up the rope so Alex is off balance.

Jensen sees nothing as he is kneeling behind Jared spitting on his hole. They both grunt as Jensen slips the first finger inside. Stroking, turning, twisting. Spitting again, Jensen puts another finger in. He is trembling because he has to be inside Jared now or he will fall apart. Jared is watching, so when JD looks at the windows he knocks for Jensen. 

“Looks like our watchers are enjoying this.” JD pulls out again, letting Alex breathe, but the coughing is less as if he is getting used to it and his cock is dripping on the floor so Jared knows he is loving this.

Jensen has a third finger in and Jared is pushing back on it needing more.  
“Please, please…” Jared can’t take this slow torture any more. This is sensory overload. 

Jensen pulls out his fingers and Jared hears him tearing open a condom and rolling it on. Jensen slips inside Jared like he belongs there. They are both panting and moaning, but Jensen pulls Jared up to stand, holding him tight against his chest. He puts a hand around Jared’s throat but not to squeeze, just to control. Jared lifts his leg and finds the arm of the couch to put his foot on. Jensen starts pumping inside Jared with slow, short strokes, Jared’s pulse hammering against his fingers.

JD has started face-fucking Alex. The rope is between his teeth, pulling back as he pumps inside Alex’s mouth. The slapping of flesh and the wet sounds from the mic against Alex’s cheek is whipping everyone into a frenzy.

“Fuck me faster.” Jared pleads as he feels so full, and his cock is jumping against his leg. A sweet ache is building in his balls as his stomach feels like it's filling with fire. This is the moment in his life he feels like everything in the planets are aligning. He is falling over the edge of a cliff and he doesn’t seem to care anymore.

Jensen is growling as he fucks Jared as fast as he can. They are both spiraling together and neither wants this to end. They hear a groan and look to see that JD has come all over Alex’s face. Alex is licking it off with a smile and thanking him. JD grins and walks behind Alex to take out the metal hook. He looks at the window and nothing happens. He shrugs, thinking maybe they left early and finishes unhooking Alex.

Jensen and Jared are both in their own universe and don’t see what is going on around them. Jared is pushing back against Jensen as they grunt and groan. Jared cries out and comes suddenly all over the window, ropes of come dripping down the glass. The jets of come don’t stop as Jensen cries out and unloads in the condom. He is deep inside Jared and it is like nothing else he has ever experienced. They both have a warm glow as they catch their breath and Jensen slips out of Jared while still half hard. He pulls off the condom and ties it off, throwing it in the trash. Jared pulls up his pants and is red-faced and looking at the floor when he sees Jensen’s shoes. Jensen is dressed and grinning. The grin makes Jared feel fluttering in his stomach, but also a worry in his brain. He backs up and hits the glass, his shoulders right next to his mess. He looks at it and then an arm appears by his head. Jared’s head whips back and he sees another arm on the other side. He is trapped and Jensen is leaning towards him, his breath hitting Jared’s face. It is minty and pleasant, but the full, plump lips moving toward him are flipping on alarm bells in his head. The word "faggot" is floating in his brain and he is fighting the urge to let Jensen kiss him, with the sick feeling in his stomach still there. His face is getting pale as Jensen closes his eyes, his lips so close to Jared he can feel the heat and only a small space between them.

The door swings open and their heads snap towards it.  
“What in the FUCK is going on here? It stinks like sex.” JD’s face goes from confused to angry in seconds. He can see the fear on Jared’s face and he is getting pissed.

“Don’t you know how to knock?!” Jensen is just as pissed, and he moves away from the window and blocks Jared automatically.

“Are you that stupid Jay?” JD is walking towards Jensen, but he catches the rage starting to roll off Jensen and stops.

“You don’t know what you are fucking talking about.” Jensen squares up and goes towards JD.

“I’ve gotta go guys.” Jared is freaking out and he can’t stay here anymore.

Jensen turns and holds Jared’s shoulders.  
“Don’t go yet.” Jensen pleads with his eyes ignoring JD.

“Whatever.” JD stalks out, slamming the door.

“What was his problem?” Jared is trying to go towards the door, the need to bolt is pumping adrenaline into his bloodstream.

“Don’t worry about him, it’s none of his business. Just don’t run off again.” Jensen follows Jared, who can’t stop moving.

“I need to get out, I feel like I can’t breathe.” Jared walks a little faster and hears Jensen following him.

“Ok, just let me walk you out.” Jensen puts a hand on Jared and they get outside and Jared can breathe again.  
Jensen reaches out and turns Jared around.

“Look at me please? What's wrong?” Jensen can see the fear all over Jared and he doesn’t understand.

“I can’t talk about it right now. I really enjoyed tonight. I want to see you again soon.” Jared reaches out and strokes a thumb across Jensen’s cheek. His heart knows he wants Jensen, and for more than just a fuck buddy. He just needs to work out his fear of kissing. He wants to kiss Jensen, it’s a need, but he doesn’t want to freak him out with his problems.

“Alright. Just talk to me when you want to. I'm here for you Jared.” Jensen looks sad and steps back a step, looking up at the stars.

“Thanks. I promise I’ll call.” Jared doesn’t want to hurt Jensen but he can’t talk about it yet. Turning, he goes to his car and slides in not looking back. By the time he starts the car and is ready to go, he finally looks back and Jensen is already inside, the porch light out and an empty feeling in Jared’s gut.


	8. Mistakes

Jared paces between the kitchen and living room. He can’t stop worrying. He knows he has crossed a line in his mind. Jensen stopped being just a strange exploration of sex. He is someone who is so much more important to Jared. Jared is gay and he can admit that to himself now. That is not what makes him pace the floor at 3 in the morning. He’s in love. How can he be in love so quickly? He has never had this feeling before. Jared only dated a few girls in his life and he never got this nervous about any of them. He was sad sometimes to see them go, but it never kept him up at night.

Jared was terrified of losing Jensen. He wants to be honest with him about why he doesn’t want to kiss, but if he does what will Jensen say? His therapist suggested he talk to Jensen because he needs to be honest if he wants a real relationship. Jared so badly wants to be with Jensen. He needs to talk to him. Jensen looked so upset the last time they saw each other. Jared has Tom’s birthday party coming up on Friday and he wants to ask Jensen to go. If he does how will he introduce him to his friends? If they see him with Jensen will they guess? Can he risk that? Jared keeps pacing. He is off from work and school tomorrow so it’s a good day to talk to Jensen. He needs to lay down and try sleeping again. Jared uses the bathroom one more time and lays down in his bed, breathing slowly and closing his eyes. It takes a while, but he nods off around 4am. He wakes up looking at his clock. It is 2pm and he jumps out of bed. He heads for the shower and misses his phone buzzing away.

Jared walks into his kitchen picking up his phone. He sees Jensen’s number as a missed call and curses. Now he looks like he’s dodging calls. He calls right back, pacing his route again across the living room.

“Hey Jared, nice to hear your voice.” Jensen sounds relieved.

“Sorry I missed your call. I didn’t sleep well last night.” Jared is chewing on his fingernails. He doesn’t know how to bring up his question.

“Are you feeling ok?” Jensen’s voice is now worried.

“Yes, I just have some stuff on my mind.” Jared feels better hearing Jensen’s voice, but he can’t stop pacing.

“Well, I called because I want to see you again soon. I’m busy at work today, so not tonight, but how does Friday look for you?” Jensen’s voice warm and sweet. Jared stops for a moment and sighs. Here it comes.

“I can’t. It’s Tom’s birthday and I don’t want to blow them off again.” Jared holds his breath.

“Oh, so I can’t meet your friends?” Jensen sounds hurt and it makes Jared’s heart hurt.

“No, it’s not that. I don’t know what to say to them. About us, I mean. I know we have more than a friendship...” Jared’s heart is pounding. What will Jensen say to that?

“I’m glad to hear you say that. I know it can be weird to introduce me, but I want to meet them. They are an important part of your life.” Jensen sounds nervous now and that makes Jared feel worse.

“I want to introduce you too, but I don’t want to make it about me. It’s Tom’s birthday. Give me another week and I swear you will get to know everyone in my life.” Jared knows this isn’t going well, so talking about kissing is probably not a good idea.

“Ok, then I guess call me when you’re ready.” Jensen’s voice was so quiet and the beeping in Jared’s ear is loud. He lowers the phone and slumps onto the couch. He has never had to worry about any relationship before. All his girlfriends were afterthoughts to his friends. He knows he loves Jensen and he wants everyone to meet him. He just doesn’t know how to bridge the gap from being straight to being gay. He isn’t sure how anyone will respond. He knows he must do it or lose Jensen. He will not lose Jensen.

He needs to work on how he wants to talk to his friends. They are all into girls, and he doesn’t remember a time they ever talked about gay people. He knows they never used the ‘F’ word. None of them seem to mind anyone who is different so maybe it won’t be that bad. Jared decides to take a run even though he just showered. He needs some exercise to clear his head. 

The night of Tom’s party rolls around and Jared hadn’t done anything he meant to do. Work had been bad. They lost two puppies to parvo and soothing the owners was hard. He had to take the bodies to the freezer to store them before cremation. He cried for a while after work. 

Jared drops by a liquor store for a bottle of Jägermeister. Tom loves it and Jared knows he will make good use of it. He decides to bury his problems in booze and ignore his aching heart. His friends are all one round in when Jared gets there. He hugs Tom and wishes him a happy birthday. It takes him a minute to realize he forgot the present in his car. He will just get it later. Chad is the designated driver, so he is looking grumpy with a Coke in hand as everyone else laughs. Jared orders a round of shots of Patron as he wants to catch up to his friends. He is a few drinks in when he sees a figure at the bar he didn’t expect. It’s Jensen, and JD is with him. Jared hopes they don’t see him. This could turn into a disaster. He is not drunk enough yet to handle this. Stephen is also gloomy because his girl is mad at him, and he asked to stay the night with Jared .   
A few rounds later Jared is keeping an eye on Jensen, but he seems to be happy to stand at the bar watching everyone around him. He is nursing a beer and Jared is dying to go up to him just to say hi. That would mean he would have to introduce him to his friends though, and he just can’t tonight. Finally, Jared takes off for the bathroom when Jensen’s back is turned.

JD catches up with him at the door to the bathroom.  
“Hey kid, what are you doing?” JD is in his face and not happy.

“Going to the bathroom.” Jared rolls his eyes and tries to push through the door. JD grabs him by the shoulders and spins him away from the door and up against a wall.

“You need to let him go. You’re breaking him again kid, and I can’t take that. I know what you straight boys think about fucking around with the other side and then leaving them. I’m warning you.” JD pushes him towards the door before he can respond, and Jared stumbles in through the door. He is pissed off. How dare that asshole presume to know him and what he wants to do. He loves Jensen with all his heart, and he will do anything to prove that. After finishing up and washing his hands, he heads out with determination to grab Jensen, lay a kiss on him, and take him over to meet his friends.

As he comes out of the bathroom, he sees Jensen sitting at his table laughing with his friends. Even Chad seems to be happier. As he gets closer, he hears Jensen telling a story of a Cowboy’s player that twisted his ankle on ice, but ended up telling a story of twisting it while coming down with a game winning catch. Jensen is in his element and Jared smiles, but then he sees JD grinning from the bar. He raises his glass of beer and winks. He realizes JD is forcing him to do something about this. Now he is fuming. He makes a turn and heads for the front door. He needs to get out of here. That asshole is not going to make a fool out of him. He is too drunk to do this properly. He hears a voice calling to him and turns to see Chad running up to him.

“Where are you going?” Chad holds on to his shoulder as if he knows Jared is trying to bolt.

“Just getting Tom’s present. I got him Jager, but forgot it in my car.” Jared turns, trying to keep moving. If he stays too long, he will start crying. How could this night have gone so wrong?

Chad watches him go with a little icy fear in his heart. He heads back to the table and sits down looking confused.

“What’s wrong Chad?” Stephen is yelling in his ear.

“Jared is being weird man. He was so happy and now he looks like a deer in the headlights.” Chad can’t shake the feeling that his friend is in trouble.

Jared makes it to his car, but it takes a few tries to get inside. He hasn’t been drinking as much lately, so he is feeling all the shots tonight. He decides that maybe it's time to get home before he can’t drive anymore. He sits with his head resting on the steering wheel for a while. He feels like a coward. He isn’t, and he knows he will have to bite the bullet and go back in there. 

Jensen expected Jared to be back by now. He looks around again and can’t even find JD anymore. He leans over to Chad, the sober guy. He seems nice and if he is a friend of Jared’s he must be.

“Chad, where is Jared?” Jensen is getting a bad feeling.

“He went out to get Tom’s present from the car.” Chad is not paying too much attention. He is looking at a pretty blonde in a short skirt.

Jensen runs outside and heads for the parking lot. He sees Jared inside his car, and he panics. He had a younger cousin that died from a drunk driver and this is serious. He rips Jared’s driver door open and drags him out.

“What the FUCK are you thinking? You can’t drive!!” Jensen is yelling in Jared’s confused face. Jared started out thinking he would drive, but he fell asleep a few minutes before Jensen showed up.

“I ‘m not fucking driving you dickhead. Leave me alone.” Jared is even angrier. Why does everything have to go wrong?

“I will not! You are fall down drunk! Give me your keys.” Jensen holds out his hand like a parent and Jared sees red.

“Fuck off. I can take care of myself.” Jared leans against his car feeling his stomach tighten up. Surely, he won’t throw up on Jensen.

Jensen growls a little, then just throws open Jared’s door and pops the hood. He opens it up and pulls off the oil cap. It doesn’t stop the car from starting, but Jared is too drunk to know that, so he takes the cap and stalks back into the bar.

Jared stares after Jensen in disbelief. Did that fucker just run off with a part of his car? Who does he think he is? Jared yells at the sky and goes to his passenger door, throwing it open and grabbing the bottle of Jager. He will get Tom another one. He needs this to stop his brain from thinking anymore. He drinks two big gulps before his friends pile out of the bar. Jensen isn’t with them, but Jared is almost ready to pass out, so he doesn’t notice. Chad gets to him and holds him up as he starts to slump. They all talk amongst themselves and since Stephen is staying with him, he will watch him at home. Chad will drive, but come right back for the rest of them. Chad puts back the oil cap and shuts the hood. They slide Jared unconscious into the back of the car and Chad drives the car to the apartment. 

Chad and Stephen get Jared up to his apartment and onto the couch before Chad calls an Uber and heads back. Stephen gets Jared a bucket for later and mostly undressed. He puts a towel nearby and stumbles into the bedroom to call his girl before falling asleep. Jared wakes up around 1am and pukes for a while. He falls asleep with his head almost in the bucket. He wakes up again at 5am and pukes some more before he is aware. He needs to rinse out his mouth and empty the bucket. He is more awake, but feeling like his head is in a blender, so he takes some time to brush his teeth and take some Tylenol. 

He stumbles into his bedroom and is confused when there is a lump in his bed.   
“Jensen?” Jared is unsure who is in his bed. He lifts the covers and sees Stephen snoring with his mouth open, dead to the world. Jared sighs and drops the sheet. He heads back to the couch and curls up, passing out again.

Jared wakes up to a clattering of pots and pans and cursing. He sits up groaning and looks in the kitchen. Stephen is busy looking for something and Jared is worried. What is he doing here and please, God, don’t say he is trying to make his morning after “cure”.

“What are you doing?” Jared stumbles into the kitchen looking unhappy and terrified.

“Taking care of my idiot best friend.” Stephen has finally found a pan and slaps it on the stove. He has a carton of eggs and some tabasco as well as some red bull. 

“Please don’t do that to me. I can’t take your “cure” again man.” Jared plops down at his kitchen table, putting his head on his arm and moaning. Everything is falling apart, and his friend is trying to kill him with food.

Stephen ignores the jab at his concoction and continues cooking. Jared is almost asleep again when a plate lands on the table with a clatter. He sits up straight with wide eyes.

“Alright man, eat this and then we talk.” Stephen gives Jared a fork and gets a glass of water. Jared eyes the food warily but decides to eat it anyway. It tastes pretty good. Jared finishes off the food and water before leaning back to pat his belly.

“That wasn’t bad. Thanks man. I owe you.” Jared is feeling very sheepish that he got so drunk he had to be put to bed. He hasn’t gotten that drunk in forever. His head is at a low pain level, but he feels a lot of shame. It was Tom’s birthday and he not only bailed early, he really hurt Jensen. Jared puts his head in his hands and groans again.

“It’s my job to take care of your hungover ass. Now spill your guts. I think I know the problem, but it’s best if you tell me.” Stephen sips coffee, watching Jared and waiting for him to be ready.

“Ok, here it is. I’m gay.” Jared doesn’t look up he is afraid of what he will see in his friends' eyes.

“Yeah and..?” Stephen is grinning when Jared looks up in shock.

“What?” Jared can’t process this because he expected problems.

“Dude, I have known you for a long time and I didn’t think you were unaware. It seemed like you were keeping up appearances by dating girls. You always hung out with us, but didn’t hit on any of us. We figured you were waiting for the right person.” Stephen is not judging him and he has always been there for him.

“Wow man, I guess I was the only one that didn’t know. The second part is the guy you met last night, Jensen, is the one.” Jared is blushing now with a huge grin and Stephen reaches over to smack him on the back of the head.

“You idiot!!! He is so awesome and perfect for you. Then you yell mean things at him and pass out. What is going on?” Stephen is shaking his head.

“I deserved that. I am in love man. I don’t know how to tell him. I basically told him he couldn’t meet you guys. I didn’t invite him to the party because I was too afraid to tell everyone.” Jared sighs and rubs his forehead. He fucked up big time and he doesn’t know if he can fix it.

“We all do dumb things for love. Trust me I know. He was so nice and funny. When he introduced himself to us, he said he had seen you but didn’t catch you in time to talk, so he was waiting. He said you were friends. He is so laid back and he works for the Cowboys. How can you not scoop him up and never let go?” Stephen is grinning and pats Jared on the shoulder.

“I know, and he is so kind and cares for others like family. His roommate is a piece of work though. He saw me and told me to get my shit together or leave Jensen alone. I need to make this up to Jensen, but how?” Jared doesn’t have a clue how to even start.

“If you ask me, just go and beg for forgiveness man. Also tell him you love him. I think that will be what gets you out of the doghouse.” Stephen gets up, washes out his coffee cup, and sets it in the sink.

“Now I have to go and make it up to my girl. I don’t want to stay with you after your love confession.” Stephen winks and hugs Jared before heading off for a shower.  
Jared is so glad his friend was willing to talk some sense into him. This could be big, and Jared wants to do it right. He will need to start with coming out to his family. Jared doesn’t want to have anything hidden anymore. He needs to at least admit it to the rest of his friends too. Jared feels a little hope fill his heart as he picks up his phone. First things first he will call his parents and get that over with. This is going to be a big day, but Jared is doing it all for love.


	9. Redemption

Jared has spent over two hours on the phone and he is ready for some reward for all his hard work. His friends were happy he was finally ready to talk about it. They are happy for him and they liked Jensen as much as Stephen did. That was the easy part. Calling his mom and dad was not as much fun. They were not too shocked, but his dad was not too happy either. So he ended up answering a lot of questions that were very uncomfortable. His parents now know much more about his love life than he wanted, but at least they are accepting. His mother wants to meet Jensen as soon as possible. They will have to make a trip down to his home town at some point or his mother will come up there . Jared does not want Jensen to meet his mother in an ambush style meeting. 

Now that Jared is ready he needs to make himself presentable and find Jensen. It is a Saturday so Jared hopes he is home and not at work. Stephen went home an hour ago, wishing him good luck. 

Jared is ready and decides to dress this up with a button down blue oxford shirt and some black slacks. He matched it with a black belt and some dress shoes. He wants to look as serious as he feels inside. This is important to Jared and he wants Jensen to know that. 

Jared is nervous all the way there, talking to himself, trying to get a speech down pat so he doesn’t screw it up. He parks and takes a couple of big, deep breaths before he gets out and walks to the house. He takes a couple more breaths before knocking. To his surprise JD opens the door and scowls at him.

“Hey, can I talk to Jensen?” Jared is shifting from foot to foot hoping that this doesn’t end badly.

“Nope. Not happening.” JD fills the doorway with his body and Jared is getting angry.

“Look, you’re not his bodyguard. I just want to talk to him.” Jared pulls himself up to his full height and squares his shoulders. He will not be intimidated or chased away by this asshole.

“Fuck off pretty boy. He doesn’t need your shit today.” JD starts to close the door when Jared’s big hand slaps against it.

“Look here asshole. I love him. Do you know how long it took me to get to this point? I will do whatever it takes to prove to him that I do. I told everyone in my life that I am gay and in love. I have so much support and I could have a few guys down here in minutes to help you understand. They happen to like him too.” Jared is getting flushed and if JD doesn’t move, he will have to resort to making him get out of the doorway.

Footsteps come up behind JD and Jensen’s face appears over JD’s shoulder. He is watery eyed and smiling.

“JD let him in, we have to talk.” Jensen stands back and JD grumbles but backs off. Jared comes inside and hugs Jensen. They hold on to each other for a few minutes, both sniffling a little. This is a big moment for them both. 

“I am so sorry about last night. I get stupid when I get drunk. I was pissed at JD, and instead of being happy you were with my friends I freaked out. I told them all that I'm gay, even my mom and dad. My brother and sister didn’t answer their phones, but I know they will be happy too. I love you. Can you forgive me?” Jared is pleading with his eyes, a few tears still drying on his cheeks.

“Sweetheart, I love you too. It was killing me to have to wait for you to catch up. We just have to cross one last hurdle.” Jensen gently pulls Jared’s face towards him, his lips opening softly and his eyes closing.

Jared is filled with so much joy he forgets to fear kissing. Their lips touch for the first time and Jared sighs into Jensen’s mouth. It’s soft and touching the skin of someone you love is like a high you can’t get anywhere else. The whole world falls away from them. Time has stopped as they explore each other’s lips slowly. Sliding together and parting for a second, before coming back together like magnets. Warm and safe, Jared explores. His tongue slips out brushing against Jensen’s lips. Jared shivers as the feeling of soft skin sliding along his tongue makes him hard. Jensen moans and puts a hand behind Jared’s head holding him steady. Jensen takes over the kiss and nibbles at Jared’s lips, sucking his lower lip in for a moment before humming and letting go. Jared gasps and puts his hand on Jensen’s firm ass. Jensen groans, breaking the kiss for a moment to catch his breath. There is a fire starting here and if Jensen doesn’t get Jared somewhere else, they will be fucking right in the entryway of the house.

Jensen pulls back from the kiss as he runs his fingers through Jared’s hair.

“Sugar, if we don’t stop for a moment my neighbors will get an eyeful.” Jensen shuts the door and takes Jared’s hand. He walks him down the stairs and Jared realizes JD has disappeared and that is a good thing. He doesn’t want to deal with him right now. Jared’s pulse is pounding, and his cock is aching for Jensen. They get down to the workout area and Jensen takes him to another room next to the shower area.

“This is my massage room. I know how drunk you were, and I think your muscles could use some re-hydration and to loosen up. I know we got hot there for a minute, but taking proper care of yourself will make what we do more enjoyable and a good buildup will make the happy ending even better.” Jensen’s voice is struggling for an even tone. He is trying to help Jared, but his own cock is making it hard to think straight.

“That sounds great. I’ve never had a massage before.” Jared blushes, thinking about being naked and hard in a brightly lit room.

“Don’t worry. This will be relaxing and fun. Go into the shower area and strip down. Use this towel and come back into the room. Trust me sweetheart.” Jensen gives him a gentle kiss before handing him a towel and watching him walk away.

Jared goes into the room and takes off his clothes, quickly folding them as he goes. He puts the towel around his waist and giggles at the tent he is making.

Jensen lights candles and turns off the lights. He wants Jared to relax as much as possible. He sets a chilled water bottle by the door. He arranges his massage oils on the rolling table and waits. Jared comes in a moment later looking shy, and Jensen almost giggles at the obvious enjoyment Jared is showing. 

“Start with drinking some water from the bottle on the counter, and then get on the table face down. I know that might sound painful, but the table is padded so you won’t get hurt.” Jensen winks at Jared and the blush deepens. Jared drinks about half of the water at once. He didn’t have any yet and it feels so good. 

Jared gets up on the table and settles down, his face in the little circular hole. His dick has calmed down a little, so it isn’t painful.

Jensen pulls out a bottle of soothing eucalyptus oil. He always keeps his oils in a warming cabinet. He drizzles some on Jared’s back and hears a sigh.

“Oh, that is warm.” Jared groans as Jensen’s hands start working on his shoulders. They are firm, but not too rough and they swirl and circle around his muscles. He feels like he will melt into the table.

“Jared I am so glad you came to see me. I was worried about you. I don’t know why you felt the need to get so drunk, but if you want to talk I'm here for you.” Jensen is working down to his lower back and back up to his shoulders.

“I was trying to figure out how to tell you something. I had a traumatic experience as a child. I started seeing a therapist to work on it because I knew I was falling in love with you.” Jared was so relaxed he just let the words flow as he looked at the flickering candlelight on the walls and tile floor.

“What happened Jared?” Jensen’s voice is quiet and full of worry.

“I was 5 or 6 and my friend fell down and skinned his arm on the playground. I hugged him, then pulled his arm in to kiss his scrape like my mom did. The playground monitor came over and started screaming about me being a "faggot" and not to kiss boys. I was so scared I cried, and that word makes me want to throw up.” Jared has tears dripping off his face. He couldn’t cry with the therapist, but he trusts Jensen completely.

Jensen’s hands leave Jared’s body for a moment and then a hand lifts his face out of the hole in the table. Jensen’s teary eyes look over Jared’s face. He kisses away some tear tracks, and then kisses Jared’s lips again, just touching firmly with no tongue, but it is powerful. Jared can feel his heart filling up. This wonderful man is giving him strength and love just through this gesture. 

Jensen pulls away slowly then kisses Jared’s forehead softly. Jared lays his head back in the hole, but now his soul feels at peace too.  
“Thank you.” Jared is so grateful for that poker game only a month and a half ago. 

“My pleasure Sugar. Just let me work my magic and then we can have even more fun.” Jensen’s voice is low and gravelly. It makes Jared shiver and his cock get even harder.  
Jensen takes his time and works his way down Jared’s body. He avoids Jared’s ass because he is trying to keep this as a therapeutic massage for now. He is gentle and thorough. When he gets to Jared’s feet and hears a giggle, he stops.

“I promise to leave your feet alone if they are ticklish.” Jensen is amused by Jared’s boyish giggle.

“Please, they are very ticklish.” Jared is excited to roll over and see what happens next.

“Alright big boy, roll over.” Jensen would normally help hold the towel up for the person, but he wants to see what Jared does.

Jared rolls to his side first and then as he goes over on his back he forgets the towel, and as he hears Jensen groan he realizes his mistake. The towel is off the table and on the floor. Jared’s hard cock is bobbing in the air. Jensen picks up the towel and gently places it across Jared’s groin.

“I have to put it back so I can concentrate.” Jensen’s voice is shaky. He wants Jared so badly, but he doesn’t want to rush things.

“You don’t have to finish the massage.” Jared’s words take Jensen’s breath away. The next ones almost make him go to his knees.

“I want to blow you.” Jared has been imagining what it would be like to have Jensen’s thick cock on his tongue. He wants to make Jensen come in his mouth.  
Jensen groans and his already mostly hard cock is now throbbing and pushing at this zipper. He wasn’t sure Jared would ever want to do that, but he is very happy to let him.

“Are you sure?” Jensen doesn’t want to force anything with Jared.

“Please.” Jared looks at Jensen, and then reaches out to palm Jensen’s cock through his pants.

Jensen gasps and holds on to the table. He is shivering as he undoes his pants and lets his cock out of its confines. Jared moans as he sees it up close for the first time. It is thick and heavy. The head has a bead of pre-come on it just bubbling out from the thought of Jared touching it. 

Jared’s hand reaches first for his balls and cups them, rolling them as he watches Jensen grunt and his cock jump up before smacking down on his forearm. Jared moves his hand up to the base of Jensen’s cock and wraps around it hesitantly. He doesn’t want to squeeze but he wants to feel the weight. He slides his hand towards the head and Jensen moans. 

Jensen reaches down and runs a hand along Jared’s chest, just making goosebumps rise on his skin. Jared groans and gently pulls Jensen’s cock towards his mouth and Jensen shuffles forward a few steps, his cock brushing over Jared’s lips. Jared opens his mouth and sticks his tongue out to lick up the pre-come. Jensen shivers as Jared’s hot breath is rushing over his heated skin. Jared looks into Jensen’s eyes as he closes his lips over his cock head and sucks. They both moan together at the same time. Jared loves the taste of his lover. The look in Jensen’s eyes makes Jared feel pride. He bobs on his cock slowly at first testing his limits . He is afraid of gagging if he goes too deep. He doesn’t want to do that right now.

Jensen watches as his cock is disappearing into Jared’s mouth. It is such a rush to finally have someone give him the same loving touch he has yearned for so long. He wants to distract Jared before he ends up coming down his throat too soon. He reaches down and brushes Jared’s long cock with his palm. It is like an electric jolt to Jared and his body bucks as his eyes open wide. Jensen grins as an evil idea springs to mind.

“You are really good at that sweetheart. I have an even better idea. Hold still.” Jensen winks at Jared and pulls his cock out of Jared’s mouth. He pushes down his pants and slides them off, kicking them away. He puts a knee beside Jared’s head and then swings his other knee to the other side until he is kneeling over Jared’s head. His table is strong enough to hold both of them. Jensen leans down and takes Jared’s now slick cock head in his mouth. Jared groans and bucks up into Jensen’s mouth. He groans again as he looks at the cock dangling over his face and sucks Jensen into his mouth again. The angle is different but having the sensation of his own cock being sucked makes it so much better. They are both in heaven. Jared realizes that he really enjoys sucking cock.. Maybe it’s just Jensen’s cock. He moans around the head of Jensen’s cock as he feels Jensen sucking hard, getting almost all of Jared’s cock down his throat. The feel of Jensen’s lips against the base of his cock is enough to make him pop off Jensen’s cock.

“Fuck yes…oh fuck..fuck…” Jared’s hips are pumping as he is almost face fucking Jensen. Jensen pulls back a bit so he doesn’t choke all the way, and moans to help Jared head towards orgasm. Jared doesn’t want to come so soon so he sucks Jensen back in and begins a fast bobbing of his own. 

The slurping, moaning, and sucking sounds fill the room. The candles flicker and the heat is building higher between them. Jared experiments with using a little bit of teeth scraping against Jensen’s head and shaft and gets shivering and cursing in return.

“Jared, fucking don’t stop doing that.” Jensen uses his hand on Jared’s cock stroking him. He can’t come so soon.

Jared grins and varies the sucking and teeth until he gets Jensen so hot that he stops jerking Jared.

“FUCK..GOD…GONNA…AHH!” Jensen’s legs go tight and he shivers as his cock explodes down Jared’s throat. It is so intense that Jared holds onto Jensen’s hips to make sure he doesn’t collapse on him. After a few more seconds Jensen slides his knees backwards off the table and stands, wobbling for a bit.

“Holy fuck Sugar. That was awesome!” Jensen bends down and kisses Jared hard and with lots of tongue, tasting himself on Jared’s tongue. They moan together as the kiss deepens and Jared pulls down Jensen’s head so he can nip at Jensen’s plump lips. 

Jensen reaches down and uses his palm to rub Jared’s spit and pre-come covered cock head, making Jared shake. He rubs it all down Jared’s shaft to his balls and gets them wet making Jared buck up again. Jensen keeps rubbing until Jared falls back from the kiss panting and groaning.

“Want to taste you Sugar.” Jensen moves down to the end of the table and pulls Jared towards the edge by his hips. He positions Jared’s ass right at the end for easy access. Jensen pulls up his rolling chair and sits down, his eyes, almost all black are just peering over Jared’s hard cock. He puts Jared’s legs over his shoulders and opens his cheeks wide with his hands . Jared’s quivering hole is opening and closing like a wink. Jensen moans and uses his tongue to lick around and dip inside Jared. Jared groans and wiggles wanting more inside him. Jensen just takes his time licking and sucking. Jared is sweating and throwing his head side to side. It is such sweet torture. 

“Please, fuck me, please.” Jared can’t help it. He wants to beg for everything Jensen will give him.

Jensen’s eyes go animal as he hears the begging. He spits on a finger and slips it in because Jared is obviously ready for it. He goes to sucking Jared’s balls one and then the other, using his teeth and watching Jared fall apart. After the second finger, he stands and picks up Jared’s dripping cock sucking it in his mouth again.

“Oh GOD please…more…Sir .” The last part is whispered and Jensen can’t stop the need to give Jared everything he wants. He slips in a third finger and takes Jared all the way to the root again. He is fucking his fingers into Jared as fast as he can as he feels Jared tighten up on them until his whole body locks up as he screams. Jared comes so hard down Jensen’s throat that he has to pull back a bit so he can breathe. Jared’s come is spurting and slipping down this throat. The taste is salty and wonderful. Jensen makes sure to suck it all down and keep fucking Jared through the whole thing. Finally he lets Jared’s half hard cock slip from his lips. 

Jared is limp and almost on the verge of unconsciousness. He didn’t get enough sleep and all of the worry and stress is catching up with him. Jensen goes to his head and kisses all around his lips until Jared starts returning the gentle kisses. 

“You have done something no one else ever has before Sweetheart.” Jensen looks at Jared, his face relaxed but serious.

“Really?” Jared is floating and is barely thinking.

“You came in my mouth and I swallowed your come. I have always been worried about doing it and avoided it. You are special to me and I did it because I love you.” Jensen wants Jared to understand how big a deal that is to him. Jared shared his heart with him about his childhood trauma and Jensen wants him to understand how special he is.

“Wow that is special. That was my first time too. I guess we are going to have to work at finding some more firsts.” Jared smiles at this always surprising man that he found quite by accident. He never thought he would fall in love and never in a million years with a guy. Life is funny sometimes.

“We have plenty of time Sugar. I think maybe we ought to have a nap then a shower later?” Jensen helps Jared to stand up.

“Nap for sure.” Jared is almost asleep on his feet.

“Ok let’s get dressed and go up to my room.” Jensen gets his pants on first and then walks Jared to the shower room and helps Jared dress. They head up to Jensen’s room, not seeing JD at all which they both are happy about. Once snuggled into Jensen’s huge wooden four poster bed, they slip into sleep spooning, Jensen the big spoon and Jared snuggled against his chest.


	10. New Beginnings

Jared opens his eyes feeling all warm and cozy. He does not recognize his surroundings. Blinking, he rubs his eyes and slowly looks around. The room is big, and the midnight blue walls are dotted with pictures of smiling people he has never met. One wall is covered in a large Cowboy’s helmet sticker. The floor is a dark cherry wood that looks familiar. The sheet he is wrapped in is silky and Jared guesses a high thread count. He feels a warm body against his back, and he smiles, knowing it’s Jensen. So the pokey thing against his back must be his new favorite toy. Jared stretches out his long limbs, feeling all fuzzy and happy. 

“You awake Sweetheart?” Jensen’s voice rumbles against his back and he shivers.

“Yes, and I’m feeling a little pain in my back.” Jared grins to himself and waits to see if Jensen will respond.

“Little?!” Jensen is rolling Jared onto his back, and his outraged face is enough to send Jared into fits of laughter.

Jensen gets an evil glint in his eye and grabs Jared’s foot. Jared freezes, eyes wide.

“Alright funny guy. No more jokes or the foot gets tickled.” Jensen puts his fingers closer to the bottom of Jared’s foot.

“I give, I promise not to joke about the size of your massive cock.” Jared is already getting hard just thinking of that thick, wonderful cock.

“That’s better. Now I need a shower. Do you want to join me?” Jensen’s hand caresses Jared’s cheek as his eyes begin to smolder.

Jared leans in and kisses Jensen, just a loving touch of lips but also a promise of more to come. Jensen grins and gets off the bed heading for the bathroom. Jared follows him and lets out a gasp when the door opens.

The bathroom is almost the same size as the bedroom. It has a grey and white marbled tile floor and a giant white clawfoot tub. The walls are a similar gray tile but smaller size. The shower takes up a full corner of the bathroom. It is big enough for four people and it has four separate shower heads on the two shower walls. The other two sides are glass with gold trim. There are benches under the shower heads made of cedar wood with slats, so that the water can run through them and not collect on them. There are double sinks along a wall made of black granite. The fixtures are all gold and the mirrors run the length of the sinks almost three quarters ’s of one wall. There is a small closeted area with a door that Jared assumes must be the toilet. 

Jensen takes his hand and pulls him fully inside the bathroom before shutting the door behind them. Jared is still gaping at the room when he feels Jensen’s hands pulling at his pants. Jared pulls off his shirt as Jensen gets his pants down past his knees. As Jensen stands up, he runs his fingernails lightly up Jared’s thighs. Jared groans and his cock is hard in seconds. Jensen chuckles and takes his own clothes off. He pulls Jared in for a deep kiss. 

Jared walks Jensen backward until they touch the wall next to the shower. They are both hard and rubbing against each other. Jensen pulls back and opens the shower door, turning on the shower heads as he looks up and down Jared’s body.

“You are so beautiful.” Jensen’s voice is so full of passion.

Jared blushes and ducks his head, not sure what to say. No one has ever said that to him before. Steam starts to rise around them from the shower.  
“Thank you.” Jared mumbles as he looks at Jensen’s feet.

Jensen reaches over and raises his chin, looking him in the eye.

“You deserve everything, and if takes the rest of my life I will give it to you.” Jensen’s eyes are teary and it almost stops Jared’s heart. He feels tears gather in his own eyes and watches as Jensen goes to a cabinet. He gets them towels and hangs them over the side into the shower for later. Jared watches Jensen move and realizes for the first time that he is bow-legged. It makes Jared smile because that is something unique to Jensen and frankly adorable. Jared is completely, totally, and utterly in love. Jensen catches him looking and grins, opening the shower door and taking Jared’s hand.

They enter the water sprays and the feeling of hot water makes Jared sigh. It is a nice pressure and is hitting him from two sides He feels his muscles relaxing as Jensen turns him and begins to lather some shampoo into his hair. Jared has never in his life had someone treat him like this. So loving and caring. 

Closing his eyes, Jared relaxes and lets Jensen soap his hair and rinse it out. Jensen even does conditioner and then turns Jared around. He has a bar of soap in his hand. Jensen lathers his hands up as he watches drops of water trickling down Jared’s skin. Jared watches as Jensen’s soapy hands trace over his skin. Starting on his neck and traveling down each arm to every finger. Jensen re-soaps his hands before tracing both hands down Jared’s chest hair. He pinches Jared’s nipples on the way, making him jerk and moan. Jensen grins as he gets down to Jared’s stomach and treasure trail leading to his hard, wet cock. 

Jensen takes his time and soaps up Jared’s balls, first rubbing a little against his taint before coming back and soaping Jared from the base of his cock to the head. He twists his hand as he goes, making Jared shiver and buck into the soapy fist holding him. Jensen has his other hand on his own cock, biting his lip as he watches Jared starting to come apart. Jared feels a bench behind his knees and gentle pressure as Jensen makes him sit directly below a shower head. Jared turns his face up and lets the water wash the soap away. 

Jared is feeling like he is heading down a new path. His life has changed a lot since he met Jensen. It is something he will never forget. He hopes to build a new future from this foundation. Jared sighs, and then hears more soapy sounds. He opens one eye to see Jensen washing himself quickly.

Jared lets the warm water soothe him as he waits, and a few minutes later Jensen’s hands lift him up and shift him away from the water. Steam is still rising around them and soon the water slows down to just one head that runs steamy hot water. Jensen turns Jared away from the wall and they kiss hard, with lots of nipping and groaning. Jensen sits on the bench.

“Sweetheart, turn around and bend over.” Jensen’s voice is commanding, and Jared obeys immediately.

Jensen pulls on Jared’s hips until his sweet hole is inches away from Jensen’s nose. Jared is quivering in anticipation as his cock jumps against his stomach. He feels thumbs first rubbing on the outside, catching against his wet skin. Moaning, Jared pushes back to allow one to slip inside his tight hole. Jensen groans at the warm silk his thumb slides into. It’s like coming home again. He gets some conditioner on his other fingers and works them inside as fast as he safely can. He needs to be inside Jared again as soon as possible. Jared is fucking back onto anything he can get and still he wants more.

“Stand up and turn around slowly.” Jensen’s hands are there to steady and help him. When Jared is turned around, he looks down at Jensen as he is slowly lowered so that his hole is just above Jensen’s cock. 

“Please.” Jared whispers, and Jensen pulls him down slowly onto his cock, sliding inside inch by inch. They are both moaning and holding back the need inside to fuck hard and fast. When Jared is fully seated against Jensen’s lap, they hold still for a kiss. Sighing and holding onto each other, Jared lifts himself up first, sighing at the feeling of fullness. Jensen guides them with his hands on Jared’s hips. 

Jared sets the pace, shifting his hips to rub his cock against Jensen. Slowly he rides, concentrating on every sensation. The slight burn of Jensen’s thick cock being deep inside him is fading away. The slight rub of his prostate by Jensen’s cock, the wet catch of skin rubbing together. The steam swirling around them and the slight breeze of cool air. Sighing and groaning, Jared continues to ride Jensen. They are caught up in the moment and the fact that they are finally making love face to face. Jared rides faster, his head thrown back as Jensen holds him close. 

They are both spiraling upwards to orgasm when Jensen just can’t hold back any longer. He grips Jared’s hips tightly as he fucks up into him hard and fast. Jared cries out and holds on to Jensen’s shoulders as his orgasm hits suddenly. He spurts loads of white hot come on Jensen’s stomach, groaning while Jensen keeps pumping into him as he finally comes himself. Jensen shakes as he holds Jared to his chest. His cock is twitching inside Jared and he sighs contentedly, kissing Jared’s wet chest.

Once they both come down to earth they stand and finish rinsing off before shutting off the almost cold water and towel drying. 

“I am so glad I lost at poker. You are the best thing to ever happen to me. I love you.” Jared caresses Jensen’s cheek and kisses him softly, touching his forehead to Jensen’s.

“I am so glad you did too. Now let’s get some rest and then we can plan the rest of our lives.” Jensen winks at Jared’s shocked look and they head to share warm snuggles, naked, in a giant bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking this journey. If you want more let me know. I have a few ideas for more later if it is wanted.


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